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Every F****** Night. *might trigger*

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Im a new member, so i hope this gets through. Every night i wonder if ill go get <mod edit: *sparkle*: methods>. Every night i start thinking through the day and see that i have less than 10 real friends. including my family. every night i listen to my ipod, and tonight was the night im seriously starting to think about HOW am going to end it. the most dominant idea being <mod edit: *sparkle*: methods> in the middle of my health classroom.The problem is that 1. i dont really want other people to feel guilty or anything i just want a few people to watch 2. the whole 6th commandment thing 3. my family doesnt seem to have apathy towards me, except my 10 year old brother who asks me to leave the room everytime we talk. I also immitated a <mod edit: *sparkle*: methods>. i wish i knew that people liked me. but i cant really ask. I used to only cry from emotional stuff (dad yells at me then asks sarcastically why im crying, the brother thing after i leave) but now i find myself doing it at the slightest thing. idk, i just feel like my life sucks right now.
PS: plz dont put "Hi" or "*hug*", that just sorta annoys me. no offence to ppl who do that.
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I think that in life we are lucky to have even one real friend. I can't help but think that you are the victim of the facebook mentality, where people allegedly have 800 friends, etc.

so one problem is that you might be envying people who seem to have more friends than you, when in fact they have a lot of fake friends that they pretend to have as a status item

another problem may be comparing yourself with others. what if you perceived most people as having no friends? would you feel happy then?

ten real friends is more than enough friendship in your life. please don't let that be something that gets you down

you might want to contact a domestic violence group (I know you didn't say violence, but many groups also cover abusive relationships in general) about your dad

you could also talk to a school councilor about verbal abuse from your dad


National Domestic Violence Hotline
24 hour hotline phone: 800.799.SAFE (800.799.7233)
who they help: victims, survivors, family, parents, friends, offenders, community leaders. A resource to anyone who may have concerns about relationship being unhealthy or abusive, and it does not matter whether they are dating or married, living together or not.
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