It's just over. That this is it and you are an epic failure. I do. All the time lately. Dying seems like the right choice, the only choice, it's already over, it's just more of the same failure of a life to come, leaving now just makes sense. No need to stick around for the second act when you already know how it will turn out. A complete absence of hope, I can feel the failure in my bones. It's the only thing that feels real.