It has been 5 weeks since my love ended his life. Him doing that made the top of the cake of the suicidal feelings I already had. They weren't that bad before, but after it happened it has gotten so much worse. Everything goes the wrong way. I can't do anything, i can't concentrate, and this is my graduating year and the most important semester of all. Every single little thing just makes the feeling of wanting to end my life even stronger. Yesterday there were no more shampoo left, and just that made me think there's nothing left to life. Is that normal? My friends don't understand why im so unwilling to do stuff. Most people don't even know what happened to my love.. They just think im mad and sad all the time for no reason. Not a good feeling. Though lately I don't really care anymore, all I want to do is to be home and think and cry and sleep. I am living in this horrible pain and there's no way to get rid of it.