Hey guys, this is pretty much my first post here. I'm not sure if anyone really cares or not but I'll write it anyway. I'm 19, and all throughout my teenage life suicide has been on my mind. I've always tried to give myself goals and milestones to work towards to help my feelings. But lately, even those aren't working. My entire life makes me paranoid, even walking around town and shopping. I never feel normal. So any small thing makes me sad and angry at myself to the point of me wishing I had the balls to end my own life. My girlfriend got angry at me last night and continues to be angry because I didn't tell her I was going to stay with a friend that night. And yet again, this small thing has pushed me over the edge. I'm just drinking half a glass of vodka at a time to stop myself from thinking about it. I guess what I want to know is, how do you guys stop yourself from doing anything when you feel like you're on the brink?..