every night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ash7614, Jun 16, 2009.

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  1. Ash7614

    Ash7614 Active Member

    every night i think it's going to be the night.

    then i lie in bed and i pray that God will take me away in my sleep and i'll never have to wake up in this life.

    Every morning i wake up disappointed.

    I haven't felt this way in a few months and last time i just ended up back in hospital with more questions to answer for.

    I feel like i've been through every stage of help and it all just keeps coming back.

    I don't feel the same this time. This time i'm just tired. I don't want to be in the life that i am and i don't care for the consequences of my actions.
    I feel heartless and numb.

    I really wish i could just fall into an eternal sleep.
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I have felt that way before.

    But I hope you can find some solace here from the ohters who also feel that way. There are so many of us who feel your pain.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    There are a lot of people here who have felt the same way, or at least similar. Sometimes it helps just to know you aren't alone, to be able to share how you're feeling and know someone understands.
  4. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Agreed. We have all been there. We can share our experiences to help give you strength.
  5. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    It might help if you altered your routine. Try staying up all night and experience the world in a different way. Go to an all-night diner, sit at the counter, and strike up a conversation with someone.

    Does it really matter how tired you'll be the next day? The old ways aren't working for you. Change your routines and you'll create new patterns of behavior.
  6. Ash7614

    Ash7614 Active Member

    I'm not sleepy tired. I'm tired of waking up everyday into a life that hates me as much as i hate it.

    I'm tired of dealing with everything i've been fighting for so long.

    I've tried different routines but nothing changes.

    I've just exhausted from trying.

    It's good to know i'm not alone and i don't have to keep it a secret on the forums
  7. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I feel like that every single night. I go to bed at night imagining death, I always feel worse in the morning. The night is my companion, it brings me closer to feeling dead.
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