Every single person who pretended to be a friend..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wanttodie, Nov 8, 2007.

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  1. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    has exploited me and then left me alone in the end. 3 months ago I was doing this undergraduate project with 2 of my "friends". One of the guys was too useless to do anything and he was high most of the time. The other guy was playing smart with me. He would call me at his house, just sit and make me do all the project work while criticizing the third member at the same time. He started giving me orders as if I was some kind of slave. Although his contribution was meager, he always wanted to be at the fore front when we were supposed to talk to our project guides so that he could take most of the credit. Then one day I just snapped out and said that he wasn't contributing at all. This pissed him off because he was habituated into thinking that Im the only one who should do the job without asking any questions. He stopped talking to me until the end of our undergraduate course. He got a better grade than me. I'd blocked off so much of my emotion very early in my life, so really when "friends" used me, it didn't hurt me. This was not the first time. I just told them to fuck off. Recently, he's started calling me because he's having some problems at his job ( Some doubts on Computer Programming etc) I attended his call once and I felt disgusted because he was pretending to be nice and at the same time trying to tease me, with a lot of artifice, that I didn't have a job. He's called a couple of times but I refuse to pick up the phone. I don't want to see his face ever in life.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2007
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I know how that feels...had it happen to me during my undergrad too...thank goodness, i did not have to deal with this jerk again...hope you find ppl who are more appreciative of your value...big hugs, J
     
  3. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    I've been used by just about everyone I went to school with. I'd always ask to work alone, but of course, "team building" was important. I'd always do the work, and it never really bothered me. I'd also get betrayed by people I help. It's wrong, and I didn't like it, but I'd be lost if I wasn't used. I live for others, I don't care about myself, and only feel useful if someone needs me, even if they're going to stab me in the back.
     
  4. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    I think my nature has become very complicated because of all these experiences. When at home, I'm always criticizing how everything is wrong in the world. I know it's not right; Even my parents point out that I'm beginning to develop an extremely negative and anti-social personality. I look for enemies among strangers before they ever have a chance to even meet me. I hate them before they hate me, so to speak. As a result of this, Im not even sure what a real friendship is like. I don't really like any on outside my family. May be a few old people, but the current generation of young people (15-35) across the world seems to be scum. I think it's because of extreme capitalism and competitiveness that people are trying to run each other down.
     
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