every time i make progress someone kicks me down again

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by kroque93, Sep 29, 2012.

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  1. kroque93

    kroque93 Member

    my family does this to me, they remind me how wrong and worthless i am
    they always take away my voice and my self-esteem and kick me down
    i just want to get through these next few years okay and get as far away from my family as possible

    i know if i dont move im doomed, but sometimes i don't care if im doomed, and i cant move. i dont know how or why im like this but it keeps happening. how do i escape that feeling where i feel doomed and there's nothing i can do?

    i will be having a really good week full of progress to stop being depressed and treat myself better
    and then people will start tearing me down again
    i dont usually talk to them, but sometimes i have to

    how do i ignore them, stop being angry?
    its hard not to be angry
    when im angry it all comes back
    how do i keep it from coming back because i don't want to be suicidal
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You raise such a powerful point, how not to give our power away to others, regardless of who they are...this is very difficult when the people are your family, but there comes a time when one has to judge the source of the comments and not let them have the control...my family was a collection of primates (sorry primates!) and it took years to recognize that...today, their insults and attempts at humiliation are less caustic...hoping you find the same
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I agree Sadeyes....... and it's tragic that this does happen in families where (the original intention was, at any rate that) they should be a place of positive support, nurture etc.

    You can learn some good "pushbacks" to apply when the kicking-down happens - be like the donkey they tried to bury in the pit by shovelling the dirt ontop of it - the donkey learned how to shake off the dirt, stand on it, and got out of the pit that way.

    That would be a good mental image to have, next time the dirt gets shovelled. Smile sweetly and say something like "Well, don't we all wish we were Einsteins/(or whatever role model is well known for their talents etc." They only shovel the dirt because of their own poor self-esteem and related issues, and -however hard this might seem at first to do - developing compassion for their limitations will help your perspective about them, and stop them being able to hurt you any longer. I know it isn't easy hun, but being able to write about it and express your desire to move forward is great and wonderful and very empowering for you :)

    When they realise they can't "get" you any longer, maybe they will shut up! But you are totally within your rights to learn verbal self-defence hun, that isn't rudery, it's called being assertive. :)
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