every woman I meet is a trigger

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by bleach, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    Well, every woman that I am attracted to. It's worse when they are in a relationship, but single women do it to. They're depressing. Reminders of every relationship I'll never have. It'd be easier to bear if I was apathetic. But I can't help it, the desire is there and it's not leaving. I try to introduce myself and or make a joke or something, and always I come off like an ass.

    The worst are women that I can tell are attracted to me. Or who I imagine are attracted to me -- it's hard to know what is a real signal and what isn't. But in any case, I think that they are. And always there is that immediate nervousness and self-consciousness. Naturally, their attraction doesn't last too long. A few minutes at the most and they're either bored with me or think I'm a creep.

    Somehow I get worse as I get older. I'm more cowardly and antisocial than ever. I only want to hide someplace where I'll never see or talk to another woman again. Because seeing them or talking to them does me no good. I walk away from one of those encounters and wish i had a gun to stick in my mouth, every time.
     
  2. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I must be lucky, I've got all the apathy I need

    On the other hand, I am never in a situation where I can meet women
     
  3. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    i feel the same exact way. its a terrible feeling isnt it? just know that your not alone with this one.
     
  4. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    aye, it is confusing. You read books that say this and say that but then you meet someone and if what someone says is true then they're giving you signals, but then you realise something different.
    It's all fun. I think that if you're shy then it means that you're far more likely to be attracted to confusing people.
     
  5. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    how old are you anyway? If you're shy then you could easily come across the wrong way, it's not that women are nasty, but they're wired a certain way I guess, just as we guys are .. question is how much effort are you prepared to make in making yourself more attractive to women.
     
  6. Veclord

    Veclord Active Member

    What a powerful statement.

    I definitely don't have any success stories for you, but I know that getting to know any girl (intimately or otherwise) has do be done via psychologically. You really have to project confidence and pass yourself on as capable of holding a good conversation. All of it just takes brains.

    Of course it goes without saying, but keeping yourself detailed and well groomed only makes you that much more irresistible.
     
  7. cupiononesse

    cupiononesse Active Member

    Maybe these girls see you in a different way because you're a lone male approaching them? Try making friends by joining clubs or taking on a second job (hard i know when you're depressed, but the internet can make it easy). From there, expand your network. Girls who like shy guys want someone they've established a relationship with first. Girls who like confident guys will either sleep with a guy quickly (bad=rejection), realise he's faking the confidence (bad=rejection), or will enter a relationship that will be short-lived and punctuated by bad=rejection.
    Don't make my mistake; as soon as i got hurt i cut people off, never talking to them again. If you can make a friend, hold them tho your bowels burn merry rage against the ones that did you wrong. It's called eating the shit sandwich and liking it, and the whole world does it.
    Meeting girls is not an aim in itself. It is a symptom of a healthy lifestyle. Therefore, it is not a reason to be depressed, it is merely an outcome of depression - don't let it get you down, and no-one who truly matters will judge you for it. Plato, Socrates and Nietzsche are all on your side (admittedly all for different reasons), and they are far heavier thinkers than the intellectual lightweights we are always surrounded with.

    So: Make friends generally, 'girls' (or women preferably) will follow. There isn't a quick fix for guys who are shy to find relationships, only cold casual sex, which solves nothing and makes the guys retreat even more inside.
     
  8. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    I'm 24

    And I didn't say women are nasty
     
  9. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    Well what does that have to do with effort.
     
  10. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    That's a depressing reality if it's true. I'm supposed to stay friends with people I don't like? People that treat me like shit? That's absurd.
     
  11. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    You don't have to stay friends with idiots. but you can be friendly with people. It's hard to figure out how to approach girls, I'm in the same boat you are. I like meeting girls with friends because we work well off each other. Sometimes I dont' have something to say or I don't know how to get the girls talking. Also, I can be more relaxed and centered with some friends around I don't feel like I have to impress everyone.

    time to get out there and meet some sweet young ladies!
     
  12. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    no I know but sometimes if women give you the cold shoulder when you're trying to be nice then it might be tempting to have those kinda thoughts.
     
  13. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I've met quite a few people in my time and I noticed a few years ago that the one's that have tons of friends who like them have something in common, they treat everyone the same. They'll just pop up and grin and make small talk with you, laugh and joke etc etc, they're humble as hell and just act the same towards everyone because they see them all as people. Girls love that, that kind of personality exudes everything attractive about a person. Cheerfulness, fun, confidence and all that good stuff.

    Some people will tell you that society as a whole simply sucks, that the entire planet is just moving on its way to destroying itself and life is a bleak, depressing rat race to make money and walk over people on your way to the top, a cut-throat business.

    It's a load of bullshit. The people that hate people as a whole are the ones that would assume themselves so great as to be on an intimate level with the entire spectrum of the human psyche, that is, know everything about 'humans' and categorize them like cattle, as if they're some sub-level creatures and they're isolated because they're so much more intelligent, so much more insightful, so much more kind when in actual fact they're isolated because their high and mighty attitude isolates themselves. Humility is a very important piece of good character, don't ever forget it. Don't let someone else's depressing views on life make your choices for you, don't decide something about a person you know nothing about just because it's easier to justify anti-social behavior with excuses like that, those same people make claims that people suck then complain about loneliness, misery, pain etc. Life can be great depending on how you live it. You're perfectly capable of meeting women and being in a relationship, just work on your social skills by socialising and the rest will come naturally.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 18, 2008
  14. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    Oh you mean, they do exactly what you just did? Pigeonholing people into simple groups ("the one's that have tons of friends", and "people [who] will tell you that society as a whole simply sucks") and making condescending judgments on them ("It's a load of bullshit") -- that sort of thing?



    "The people that hate people as a whole are the ones that would assume themselves so great.." is ridiculous. People with that kind of outlook are usually full of self-loathing and are more critical of themselves than anyone else.
     
  15. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    your wrong, im a social outcast but i dont blame people.. i can only blame myself. i don't think im smarter than everyone, i actualy think the opposite, that im not worth it. your being stereotypical, not everyone was born with the support maybe you were born with or your friends to feel normal. i know i am capable of being in a relationship its just the fear of the unknown and the fear of the pain of heartache again.

    hence why this topic is subforum is called 'let it all out..' not as much complaining about life.