Everyday is gloomy

Got another depression at 27 during my studies,returned back home from Sydney in 2008,still looking for a job since the last 2 years without nothing.I've done 12 ECTs and ECT didn't work,doctors changed my medication and the new meds are not helping me either.i sleep from 4am to 3 30pm everyday,stay idle when awake watching TV and smoke tonnes of cigarettes,I don't go out at all and it's rather impossible for me to make friends,meeting new people is far to be my concern and we don't have group therapies here anyway.I don't have the will and courage to start things all over,my goal was to complete my studies successfully and get a job as a cook,but depression ruined all my plans.now,I've fallen deep down and as I said I don't have the strength to get enrolled in further studies,as I lack work experience,it's hard to get a job,and moreover I don't have any qualifications,diplomas or degree in whatever,this kind of life is not worth living at all,I do have a suicide plans circulating in my head.

 

I'm sorry :hug:
I feel the same way about myself- all I want to do is end my life.
You're not alone.