I hate for this post to come across as attention seeking, but I am at a point where I really could use some support. I have really been struggling A LOT lately. I started my career as a teacher this August, and after about 2 weeks it all started to hit me like a ton of bricks. As a first year teacher they have decided that I am going to teach an AP class in a content I am not certified in as well as take this course that allows it to count as an AP class. I am so overwhelmed. I go to work, I come home, and I work until bed. I then rinse and repeat. I am only an hour away from my friends and family and yet I feel so alone. On top of all this I have started questioning my gender identity which will go over so well here in the south. It has gotten to the point that I cry every night and it want to give up. I then start to think about my mom and how much she has invested into helping me get my degree and help me get into and furnish my own apartment and it makes me feel terrible how much I hate my life right now because she put so much in and I feel like if I fail at this I will be dissappoining her. I have set an appointment with a therapist, but everyday I still hate myself, I hate how unhappy I am, I hate how hard life is, I hate feeling like I have made the wrong decision for a career. I often think to myself "If life is going to be this hard all the time I should just end it" ( I have NO plans or intent of actually ending my life), but it often crosses my mind. I just don't have the stength to be strong anymore. I appreciate you hearing me out.