everyday...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sycotic_Sarah, Aug 16, 2006.

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  1. everyday i am so sick of living, its torture, its like being in hell, the agony pits of hell, full of fire, burning so bright, its so noisy, everythings so bright, and i just want to be in the dark, at peace, warm, loved, wanted, not this.. not here and now.. not now! :mad: :sad:

    im awaiting death, im awaiting it, and its too long to wait, i cant hold on no longer, i cant take this, i cant be here anymore, i dont want to go hospital, i dont need help, i dont want it, shes leaving me, her, the one who used to help me, shes leaving, why does she leave? why does everyone leave me? why!!! i dont want help, iw ant to die, why dont they let me die, why dont you let me die, why!? tell me why and ill leave it, i just want to die, iw ant to die DIEEEEE!!!!! :'( im so alone, so cold, so hurting, so much hurt, to much pain, to much noise, all around me, screaming, shouting, i hear it, they speak about me, i want to read those files, the files they keep on me, see what they said, know what they said, tell it to there faces and say you dont care, you lied, you lie! Why do you lie? WHY? i cant understand this, i want to die, so much, too much!

    death awaits my call, :unsure: :sad: :blink:

    this probably wont get posted, it wont, i know it, im under moderation, i just know it, i cant handle this anymore, i can no longer hold on, death is me, its all i live for,so now,i must meet it. :'(
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2006
  2. KillerBee

    KillerBee Member

    My heart goes out to you Sarah. In these dark times its hard to find any relief, I too feel that life can be a very hopeless place. Hang on to anything possitive you can find hobbies, friends, support groups and such. I'm not too great at providing a helping hand, but I'm here to try and ease your pain if you need somebody to lean on. From what you have posted I can tell you are hurting dearly, and I curse all the people who put us in such a vulnerable state. Please try to hang on as long as possible. :smile:
     
  3. I just replied to your thread, KillerBee.
    You didnt need to post, really, your going through a hard time, i feel bad when people post, its like im taking up valuable time for them to help someone else, im just pretty much worth not any time, nothing really.
    I have no hobbies, friends in real life, none at all, they all hate me, support groups, suicideforum is the only group which is keeping me alive, and i dont know anymore. :(
     
  4. KillerBee

    KillerBee Member

    Your pain is just as real as mine, and you are definately worth it. You are very kind and I hope that you somehow manage to survive through the hell you are going through. I will continue to battle my demons as well no matter how hopeless things get.
     

  5. I really hope you do, i truly do.

    But i cannot battle them, i cannot get through this, i am not particulary worth anything.

    I feel your needs are more needed for help than mine at the moment, please read my reply if and when its posted.
    :hug: Big hugs.
     
  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    ((((((((((Sarah))))))))))
    Everyone is worth something. No exceptions to that. None at all, even if you think otherwise. :hug:

    TDM
     

  7. no, i am not worth it, i wasnt even worth that hug :(
     
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