For the past 11 years, since I was 13, now 25, have thought of suicide every day. I am not sure what is wrong with me, I told two people, one of them got spooked and I ended up in an old school (One flew over the Coo) type place for 3 days. It has defined most of my life, from truency problems in school, to dropping out of high school and to every relationship I have had. Recently, I graduated university, finding a job, not doing well on my graduate school admission exams, and ending a 3 year live together relationship has sent me closer to the bottom than I have ever been to. I am not sure what to do or how to even begin expressing how much these thoughts have consumed most of my life. I have went to counsellors and other professionals but dare not do I tell them the true root of why I am coming in. Sure, I talk about my past including severe physical and emotional abuse and other things that went on when I was a child but it has not got me anywhere so far. I went to an anonymous sit in with a counsellor and told her what was going on and she recommended serious 'right now' action and I walked out. It feels like they are scared of not taking drastic measures because of the what if scenarios. I have tried explaining my situation, that it has been going on constantly, every morning, every night and everywhere for over 10 years and it just drains me. Anyways, you guys are the third person to hear this.