Everyone and everything is against me.

Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by TheBLA, Aug 4, 2006.

  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    All of my parent's friend's children are better at everything than I am. Same goes for all of my relatives and such that are around my age.
    I have to be the ONLY fucking loser with no friends, no future, no hope, no zest for life, NOTHING!!!

    When all of my parent's friend's kids start their first year of university soon, they'll make a dozen friends, get straight As, blah blah blah. Whereas I will be all alone and miserable there, making only decent grades, having to live near the campus near my mom because I'm too fucking imcompentent to do anything by my self.

    I have no future, even if I graduate from university without getting kicked out or commiting sucide before then, I'll be all alone for the rest of my life and eventually commit suicide from the lonilness and such.

    At the rate I'm going, I'm destined to be a failure, my dad and mom keep telling me to change, to work harder in my grades, be more disciplined, go out and talk to people, etc. I'm too fucked up to change, there's too many things to change about me. I'm better off dying and hopefully being reincarnated and starting from scratch or something.

    I wish I was dead right now, everyone around me is better than me, all happy, sucessful, etc.

    I can't even be fucking depressed because that'll just make my parents more upset at me, and they are already struggling with a lot of other problems. So I have to hide my pain and misery.

    This is not the life for me, I have to die, I have to commit sucide.
     
  2. Callan

    Callan Guest

    If you're going to university you must be quite clever. What are you going to study? Maybe your cousins aren't happy either? Maybe they're putting on a mask too? I always imagine that to be lots and lots of really different people at universities. I think that there'll be some people that will like you for you. Try it and see. You're brave to even go there and I think you can be braver and talk to people. I bet there will be some people that have come from really far away and won't know anyone and will feel really lonely. I bet you can be friends with them?
     
  3. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Yeah, my parents always tell me that all of these kids around me I think are really happy are just putting on a mask, like I do when I'm around them.
    But I dunno, I always feel like the only one with depression, only one failing, only one inferior to all those I know around me.

    Anyone that tells me that "college is the best time of your life" is going to die I swear. A lot of people actually commit suicide in college and I fear that I will be another statistic.

    And nobody around me knows how depressed I am, I've just told one of my cousins in India and he's extremely shocked that I would even consider suicide.

    I am all alone in this world, I don't belong here, I just wish I could die right now in an accident, quick and painless.
     
  4. Callan

    Callan Guest

    You aren't alone. You have everyone here. I think we have all felt like that and we've all failed at a lot of things I reckon. Maybe going to uni will be the start of something better? Maybe you'll be able to find some distractions that will help you? I don't know. I don't know what else to say but you can vent at me if you want. I won't mind.
     
  5. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'm just quite thankful that you even wanted to read what I said, thanks a lot, it means a lot to me. :smile:
     
  6. Callan

    Callan Guest

    I read everything you say. Sometimes I really have no idea what to say that might help or even make you feel any better at all so sometimes I don't answer because I don't want to make you feel you worse. But I read all your posts and I do think about you so remember that ok?
     
  7. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the late reply, Rahul. I am sorry that you have been going through tough times in life. I can certainly relate to ur depression, the extra pressure to succeed. One thing I came to profound realization about life is that it is not as easy as some people hope it to be. It requires a lot of dedications and efforts to reach ur goals, dreams and live the kind of life u always envisioned.

    I certainly concur that life is toughter and harder to live for people like us because of our mental problems or whatever phychological torments we have been through. That doesn't mean we just have to give up and wave white flags. We can never give up despite all our problems. I have this core belief that everything happens for a reason. All of us are here in this world for a reason. We are all unique and are here to fulfill our purposes. So even if life seems tough and unbearable at the moment, please take one day at a time and try ur hardest every day.

    Say to yourself, "I am unique. I am special. Even though I have to live through all this depression and family pressures, etc, nothing will stop me from achieving what I want to achieve in life. I am different than ordinary people. I can get through this." That is what I have been saying to myself for a while and it helps. I wish u the best. Take care!

    -Hank-
     
  8. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    The only cure for loneliness is to go out and help somebody who is lonely. Give and it shall be given unto you(spiritual law)
    for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction(natural law)
     
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Wow you sound like me. My parents always tell me to change... and people around me... even people on this forum. But 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the time they don't realize how hard it is. But all you can do now is live. I want to kill myself but I am too lazy too scared or too something or other. So I just live that is all you can do... whether you like it or not.