Everyone: Do you feel guilty for posting?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Will, Jul 17, 2007.

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  1. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    Does anyone else almost feel guilty for posting?

    I know alot of people tell their stories of self-harm, and I don't think that's wrong at all. But does anyone feel guilty for posting it out there, like as if you're just crying for attention?

    I'm not exactly one to post everytime I cut. I don't want attention to myself, because I never have. It just makes me feel weird. Because people offer their support, and sympathy. Don't get me wrong; that's great, I think it's good we have a community that can support eachother.

    But doesn't anyone feel a little guilty that they have to do so? I know that we all come from different backgrounds, and we've all got our own problems, and we all sometimes lack much needed attention in life.

    Not to say anyone who posts is crying for attention. It's only just sometimes I try to avoid throwing off that vibe.

    I'm not sure, I can't describe my feelings accurately right now. Has anyone else felt like that before?
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I can honestly answer you with a yes Xibyll. I have no problems replying to others and offering support where I can give it, but I find I cannot post for myself at all. Can I specify why? Probably, to some extent, as there are many reasons, but that would mean seeking support so I guess I'll leave it unsaid.
  3. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    Yep, I find it incredibly hard to ask for help but in reference to what your talking about...


    But, in my view, I personally started self harming for attention, I needed someone to help me deal with the enormous stress I was under, I didnt know it at the time but now in retrospect I can see that for what it was.

    HOWEVER, now it is an addiction.

    I think alot of people go that way, but once your addicted its hard to explain to people why you do it.

    Alot of people do it for attention when things arent "that bad" and never get addicted because theyre pain isnt as deep as others. And its seen as a bad thing.

    But when people label others attention seekers, no one seems to think

    "what must be so wrong in their lives for them to be that desperate for help"

    Food for thought.
  4. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    I always feel guilty to some degree when I post, coz I am not sure if I should post it or not. I guess I doubt myself a lot, but thats because I have a strange tendency to do things wrongly and give the wrong impression so I guess I am afraid or something I don't know. Sometimes even if my intention is to help I am afraid I might hurt that person even more and I have to honestly say, I almost always believe that I must have hurt someone badly instead of helping them if they do not reply me back or anything. I never thought I will admit this until I see this thread.

    I did screw up before, giving people the wrong idea to the extend that they completely stop talking to me or even writing me emails. I know its because I don't talk to people often and my social skills are lousy. I always wonder if I could turn back time, this is one of the things I wanted to improve on. It really hurts when someone ignore you completely after you have done something you didn't realize and not given a chance to explain but then I know it is all myself to blame after all, its nobody's fault that my social skills are lousy.

    Sometimes I find myself pathetic because I probably write something so that someone will respond to me and I hate it but I can't help myself. I talk to myself most of the time because I know, I don't have someone I can talk to in real life because everyone I know is so fake and untrue. Now even when a friend show up at my door asking me out for a drink, I wonder what they are up to, is it really just for a drink? Maybe he wanted to borrow some money coz they are in trouble or wanting help yet they just turn away when I am in need of help?

    Na...I know social awkwardness is a lame excuse to cause people unpleasant feelings..
  5. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Yeah..I agree with what you posted, Billy.
  6. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    You can share if you'd like, I wouldn't mind knowing since there are many occasions where people like us don't get to explain themselves a great deal. If you don't want to here, feel free to PM me, and we can talk. I'm curious as to what you're reasons are, but only if you want to share, I don't want to push it.

    I don't believe that Self-harm is completely used for attention. Because in some cases, yes, it is used for attention. In others, people view it as a way to just get through the day. Because the pain inside over-weighs the coping resources.

    A person who has to hide the scars, surely doesn't want attention, do they? Otherwise, wouldn't they display it all around?

    Not trying to argue with you, but it's what I've found to be true. And other types, (mine in paticular) some people use it as a way to punish themselves. I at times feel this approach brings that guilt upon the sh'er, because when they hurt themselves over a mistake, it's somewhat...something you'd wish you could keep to yourself. It's somewhat a circle of hate :( because no one ever knows.

    I agree with you alot, because I've felt the same way before. I used to not be able to talk to anyone. Not that I can a great deal now, I can just hide my feelings better. I too am around people who are just completely fake, and it's seriously just hard to even try. I usually just keep silent. And then people use you, and manipulate you. Which is why I tend to withdraw from alot of people, because some of them just throw off that aura that they're just wanting something of/from you.

    It's kind of lonely. I'm sorry you got to live like that, but you can always talk here on SF, or to me, if you'd like. I'd hate to see you stay alone like that.

    I can't tell if it's sarcasm or not:dry:. Probably not, just kidding.

    Thanks Jess.:hug:
  7. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    I didnt say it was completely used for attention, I said that commonly thats how it starts, a subconscious expression that we need someone else to help us because we cannot cope with whats going on inside by ourselves..

    I was saying it to explain the difference between those who self harm (addiction) and those who ''cry for help'' as its known commonly, and how hurtful that label can be.

    No one can say 'all self harmers are... crying for help' because you cant say everyone who does something does it for the same reason, just liek everything. There are variants.

    I was jsut trying to explain why alot of people feel this guilt and 'oh am i crying for attention' pressure on them, because of the differences between real emotional pain and not knowing what to do with it except cut, and cutting because you want attention consciously.
  8. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    I don't feel guilityfor posting her. It is one of he few things I don't feel guilty about.

    People here are nice and supportive and all, but like with everything else they offer little to no relief to my struggles. If I thought I was burdening someone I would probably feel guilty or maybe if I was triggering someone else (even if I still don't exactly get triggering) I would feel guilty, but posting he doesn't make me feel guilty.
  9. lost_soul

    lost_soul Staff Alumni

    for me this site is a vent that i have no other place to release. as far as self-harm, i have posted, but not for attention. as a release just so that someone knows. sometimes if i put it out there that i want to do it, it is for me alone. if i talk about it it helps me not do it at times.
    then there are other times where i can't fight it. as isa said, it is an addiction.
    the only time i get really good sleep is when i get drunk or harm, i sleep better than usual.
    and to answer your question, yes and no.
    yes because i am letting my skeletons out ofthe closet.
    no, because ineed to vent one way or another.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 18, 2007
  10. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :eek:hmy: Sarcasm, me? I'm shocked! :rolleyes:
    But yeah, I wasn't being sarcastic, I actually do agree with it.
    :hug: No problem.

  11. Yes, guitly is the right word exactly. I have seen many forums who have an option for editing your post that is held indefinitly. If that were the option here, I would get around to editing certain posts out. That's how guilty I feel, though it always hit's me much later. After I've had time to consider my actions.
  12. Xalcro

    Xalcro Well-Known Member

    Heh... hopefully it isn't against the rules for me posting here.

    I don't know. I feel like that all the time. Not even just when I'm talking crap about my own life, but just in general... it's an indescribable feeling; I just don't belong. I'm not supposed to be here, I don't deserve to be here. Heh... it's like... venting. Even when you want somebody to be there, they're not...

    Guilty... I don't really talk about... anything. I'm living a half life, so many parts just don't feel right. Heh, yeah... I am feeling guilty now, just writing this. No one would want to read, listen to my ramblings.

    Well yeah... it's like I don't even deserve to be here. I don't even... well... you know my reasons. Heh... this is so stupid. Let's just say this message never even existed.

    Whatever... all I'd wanted to say was, yeah, I agree, I understand. But it's not like it means anything, right?
  13. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Yes more than happy to try and help others can listen for hours and i hope offer something to somebody but when i post if im in a crisis, it tends to be pretty desperate and i do feel bad the next day allthough there has at least been a next day if it were not for SF im sure id be gone:sad:
  14. eih

    eih Well-Known Member

    yes.. I feel really guilty for posting anything about myself.. and i'd love to help people .. but I have a feeling whenever I try to help someone it doesnt help them at all ...
  15. Yes, I feel guilty... I don't want to make a thread about the things I'm not proud of but I don't want to keep things inside me. I love venting.. but I don't want someone to read it and help me always.
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