I've been depressed and feeling suicidal for about 7-8 years now. I've tried a variety of anti-depressants that work for a few months then their positive effects decline. I've been seeing a counselor for about 2 1/2 years. She is a great help but when I tell her I'm tired of everything and just wish I could be hit by a truck or kill myself she just gives me the same ole: "You have to be able to commit murder by killing yourself" "It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem". I'm not upset about a particular instance. I hate my life and always have. I take hardly any joy in anything. The only reason I'm still here are because of two things: 1. I don't know what's on the other side. I'm an atheist but In the back of my mind there's still that chance that suicide is a ticket to hell or some other worse place then here. 2. Before I actually pull the trigger/pop the pills I don't know if I'd be able to get over how my friends would feel. I don't give a single care about the majority of my family they don't matter to me except my 2 siblings. They'd be sad for a time but they'll die eventually as well. So, who cares. We're all going to die so what does it matter if some people feel bad that I'm gone. They're going to die and will not be upset I'm dead. I'm tired of the whole: We're all in the same boat, life sucks, get over it or the: Go find something you like to do and stick with it. Get involved in an activity you would enjoy. I don't enjoy anything. I hate mostly everything and I'm tired of everything. I'm still on anti-depressants now but I still feel this way. My life doesn't necessarily suck that bad but I still want to die. What do?