Everyone Hate Me

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Xlim, Jan 10, 2008.

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  1. Xlim

    Xlim Guest

    Hi, I am new to this forum

    Here some small info about myself:

    My name is Mike
    I am 19 years old
    I live in CA
    My sign is Capricorn

    I just wanted to say first off that no one really love me. When I was 7, my dad left my mom and grab some bitches during one of his trip. He is a Trucker btw, and I am pretty sure he was also involve in some form of prostitution or another. I actually caught him once with an underage teen holding hand. I was of course to young to understand what that could mean. Anyway A few days after my dad left my mom, my mom began to resent me. She blame me for everything that my dad does. She said straight out to my face "That I am a mistake, and that it was an unplanned pregnancy". I always knew my mom hated me, and it hurt so much. Truthfully my dad left my mom because he couldn't commit to having a child and ruining his whole life. He want to experience more of life rather than having to settle. My first year of school was horrible, as for some reason none of the kids seem to like me. I guess the few years before that, I was going on a rampage mood. I felt everything in my life has fall apart. My mom obviously did not want me to be home, so she tend to lock the door until midnight. A few week later, my mom decided that she couldn't bare to look at me anymore and told me "that I am no longer her son". That week she left for Las Vegas, and I haven't seen her in a few months. I probably should have been in a foster home, but I wasn't sure what was the best option at that time. I manage somehow to do well in school. I hardly see my mom now a day, and now that I am finally going to college, it felt like the worst day of my life. However my mom was so happy that I was moving to college that before the first week before college start, she move all my stuff in 4 different suitcase, and said "she was willing to pay the extra charge for overweight luggage. I wish I knew forum like these exists, because I have not once gone back home since I been here. I spent thanksgiving and Christmas alone on campus. It is such a miserable life I lead. I have no friend, no parent, no girlfriend, and no life.

    I really don't know where my life will lead. I continue to struggle paying for college, and I fear that if I don't make enough money working, then I will have to quit out of college, and my future will be ruin.

    Can suicide be an option for me?

    Please reply to me, of course I'm pretty sure everyone hate me. I never ever talk to any one online, so I hope I can make some online friends.
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Being here is the perfect place to make friends that understand your pain and troubles. Keep posting and you'll see what wonderful caring people are here. You can pm others here for a more one on one chat anytime. Hope that you find what you are looking for here. Welcome Xlim
     
  3. iona_cullen

    iona_cullen Member

    I just wanted to say hun, that life is hard yes. It sounds like your mother needed someone to blame. But it really isnt your fault. And it sounds like you know that deep down, but obviously still struggling with all the pain it has caused. You've had a hard time, it fucking amazing you're actually in college. I've been in foster care and you and I are the only people I know who have managed to get to college. You're a better than most of the people out there. Don't worry about spending christmas on your own hun. It's just the start of your success. I promise that you will make friends. trust me please. NO WAY SUICIDE IS AN OPTION FOR YOU. You have so much stength and amazing qualities to chuck it all away. What are you studying btw?
    All my love
    Iona
    xxxx
     
  4. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I feel for your upbringing. It's good you decided to post in this forum. Look for support groups on campus well, or 12 step meetings outside of campus. They've helped me a good deal.
     
  5. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you had such terrible parents... it's sad, but there are lots of people who really are unfit to be parents. Everyone doesn't hate you. I certainly don't. I'm sure you'll find friends... really good friends are rare though.

    Your future won't suddenly be ruined if that happened. College isn't everything. It does theoretically help you to get paid more, but money can't buy you happiness anyway, it just makes life more comfortable and convenient, that's all. The best things in life are free.
     
  6. iwillbeok

    iwillbeok Active Member

    The people here are absolutely wonderful. They will talk to you, befriend you, and understand you. Listen to them.
     
  7. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum, no one here will hate you
     
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. You will find people here that are willing to reach out in friendship to you. I hope you are able to get things worked out with college. :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 10, 2008
  9. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    I'm like, new here too, so I don't know much about the people, but they seem super helpful, and I think a lot of them can understand what you're going through.

    I'm really impressed you're in college! I'm a freshmen in High School and I'm not handling it well at all, and my parents are considering pulling me out for some online homeschooling. So congrats to you, you're doing really well there, even if it doesn't feel like you are.

    Suicide, is not an option. I mean, technically it is, but it's not the right one. Somehow there's always a way that can improve your situation to a bearable amount, and then eventually it gets better. Remember, if you feel like it's the worst day in your life, the next day can only be better, right?
     
  10. Xlim

    Xlim Guest

    Thank you all for your reply. You don't know how much it meant to me. Anyway I am not feeling suicidal or ever have been, but I'm just considering all my option. Amazingly I don't feel too depress. Most of the time my school work and work take up most of my times so depression doesn't lurk into my head that often.

    Anyway I was billed $200 dollar in lab $ X-ray recently in which was send off-campus that I was not inform off. Anything that is not send off-campus is free, and vice versa. I now have to take on 2 jobs plus the heavy amount of workload for school.

    And yes I am currently seeing a therapist at school. There is really nothing wrong with me. I am as healthy as any person. My depression is only minor so therefore my therapist did not prescribe any medication for me. They really couldn't figure out an answer for me, and since I don't have any real problem, there no point in seeing any more therapist. That is what my therapist told me.
     
  11. Xlim

    Xlim Guest

    I am majoring in Bio and Math major, thanks for asking. Well Christmas was bad, but I guess I'm use to the loneliness after such a long time. Though I'm definitely sick of Ramen soup that for sure. I bought a bunch thinking it was a bargain...
     
  12. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Firstly I don't hate you :smile:

    Welcome to the forum Mike.

    Feel free to PM me if you need a freind.

    Sam xoxo
     
  13. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    Hi Mike, I think we could be friends.. and of course I don't hate you! :smile:

    My father walked out on my mother and my sisters and I when I was ten, got a co-worker he had an affair with pregnant and I don't know anything else as I try to avoid updates. I just know he is still being horrible and having my mother go through court for every penny he owes. I am lucky my mother has always been there for me.

    I am here for whatever, feel free pm or drop in the chat room anytime. :wink:
     
  14. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Your therapist sounds a bit, weird. >>;

    But, if you think it's working for you, then that's good, but if you feel like you need more, you should tell them. It's all about how you feel, not how they think you feel.

    With your majors, what do you wanna be when you get out of college?
     
  15. crazy

    crazy Well-Known Member

    Welcome Mike!!!

    I'm sorry its taken me some time to reply to this. I do not hate you. I can relate to much of what you have shared. My mom left me also, it is very hard to deal with. There is hope though, I know it doesn't seem like it but there is. My mom blamed me for the reason she left. She was gone for awhile but she is now back and we are starting to get along better.

    This is an awsome place to come for support, make friends, best of all be accepted.

    Welcome once again. You have a whole new huge group of friends here.
     
  16. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    :welcome:
     
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