Hi, I am new to this forum Here some small info about myself: My name is Mike I am 19 years old I live in CA My sign is Capricorn I just wanted to say first off that no one really love me. When I was 7, my dad left my mom and grab some bitches during one of his trip. He is a Trucker btw, and I am pretty sure he was also involve in some form of prostitution or another. I actually caught him once with an underage teen holding hand. I was of course to young to understand what that could mean. Anyway A few days after my dad left my mom, my mom began to resent me. She blame me for everything that my dad does. She said straight out to my face "That I am a mistake, and that it was an unplanned pregnancy". I always knew my mom hated me, and it hurt so much. Truthfully my dad left my mom because he couldn't commit to having a child and ruining his whole life. He want to experience more of life rather than having to settle. My first year of school was horrible, as for some reason none of the kids seem to like me. I guess the few years before that, I was going on a rampage mood. I felt everything in my life has fall apart. My mom obviously did not want me to be home, so she tend to lock the door until midnight. A few week later, my mom decided that she couldn't bare to look at me anymore and told me "that I am no longer her son". That week she left for Las Vegas, and I haven't seen her in a few months. I probably should have been in a foster home, but I wasn't sure what was the best option at that time. I manage somehow to do well in school. I hardly see my mom now a day, and now that I am finally going to college, it felt like the worst day of my life. However my mom was so happy that I was moving to college that before the first week before college start, she move all my stuff in 4 different suitcase, and said "she was willing to pay the extra charge for overweight luggage. I wish I knew forum like these exists, because I have not once gone back home since I been here. I spent thanksgiving and Christmas alone on campus. It is such a miserable life I lead. I have no friend, no parent, no girlfriend, and no life. I really don't know where my life will lead. I continue to struggle paying for college, and I fear that if I don't make enough money working, then I will have to quit out of college, and my future will be ruin. Can suicide be an option for me? Please reply to me, of course I'm pretty sure everyone hate me. I never ever talk to any one online, so I hope I can make some online friends.