Everyone Is Tired of me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by supermodel, Jul 8, 2008.

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  1. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to do. Im still seeking help (i have an appointment for next tuesday at 1) I rescheduled my appointment from yesterday because I was feeling much better and I didnt want to pay the copay due from insurance.

    Big mistake....

    I should have went because I had a breakdown while driving to a friends house today. But the stupid thing is...NOTHING CAUSED IT. NOTHING MADE ME MAD OR SAD. these feelings came from nowhere. All of a sudden I was crying like someone killed my best friend! Suddenly I started sending myfriend text messages like I want to kill myself. Ive upset a lot of people because they know I'm "sick".

    It almost makes me want to do it. I feel like the Boy who Cried Wolf. I feel like "dont talk about it...just do it" :sad:

    I dont want to be a burden. Obviously if i keep telling them, I want some help. Right? I told my friend she should worry about the day that she doesnt hear from me. What should I do? I'm also scared that if I tell my therapist eveything thats wrong with me, she will lock me up.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I don't think she will lock you up if you tell her your thoughts. She cannot help you if she doesn't know. I have told mine many times about plans and thoughts I have had. She always thanks me for being honest and then we talk about it. You are not a burden to your friends. I am sure they just don't know what to do so it makes them afraid. Don't skip your next appointment even if you are feeling better. Be open and honest about things. Its the only way for things to get better. :hug:
  3. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I dont know. pretty soon my family and friends will get tired of the obvious emotional roller coaster I'm putting them through. It almost seems like, I should do it. I've never been a person to just talk about doing something. I always do it. This just happens to be something that can't be reversed....or when I realize I'vemade a mistake, I can't change it. I just wish I had guts.
  4. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I sometimes sit here and wish for death.
  5. Blueberry

    Blueberry Active Member

    I can assure you that your suicide would in fact make things much worse for your family.

    Did you know that the DSM-V lists surviving the suicide of a loved one as "catastrophic" -- the same level as a concentration camp experience.

    I think the best thing would be to assess where you're at -- they do have emergency psych services avail. It sounds like from your crying outburst that for some reason you're destabilized right now.

    Help is available 24 hours a day -- on the phone and at the hospital. It's ok to get help, get assessed, reach out -- despite all the competing thoughts in your head about that and where you're at.

    Suicidal thoughts signal that you're in crisis. They mean that things have gotten to the point where you can benefit from some help.
  6. Attack19

    Attack19 Member

    supermodel i feel the same exact way you feel about doctors it makes me feel less alone. im scared theyre gonna try and lock me up in a mental hospital cause im 'sick' too. please go to your appointment and tell me how it was it might give me the courage to go too. bah i feel so weak even reaching out for help on the internet but deep down i know i need some..
  7. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    How do you know everyone is tired of you? Have you taken some type of survey or poll??? Did you ask them?

    All joking aside, your friends probably are anything but tired of you, they are probably very concerned about you and want to help you and want you to help yourself.

    What do you think you need to do to take care of yourself? What do you need? Think about it, and then ask someone for help.

    It is hard to do, but you can recover from what you are going through right now, you can feel better, you don't have to suffer alone. Keep on reaching out to people, you are not a burden. People want to help you. You are worth it.
  8. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. I don't think most people would even realize im depressed.... I told my mom a few years ago that i thought that i was depressed, and she completely disbelieved me, trying to say that it was "all in my head".

    Then, about 4 or 5 months ago, i told a good friend of mine, online friend actually, and he's really been a good help, but sometimes i wonder if he really does like me, or just afraid im going to jump off a building if i don't have his support. Half the time i just feel really guilty for bringing him into this mess. He wouldnt hurt anyone, so you just have to wonder......

    I'm not sure if i should act like everythings OK, and not worry him, but hes the closest friend i have, so i usually end up telling him things that are on my mind. I have BPD, and so sometimes i think he's just going to stop being my friend. I've told him this, but i cant fight the thought that im just being completely irrational, and starting trouble when theres no reason to. so mostly i just feel guilty for not being a better friend. But it's more than that even, because i love him. :(

    Well, i hope everything works out for you. I'm not exactly the best advice giver, but I'm sure if you just hold on, things will get better, sooner or later
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