Everyone will die eventually :(

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by herenow, Apr 9, 2011.

  1. herenow

    herenow Well-Known Member

    I don't mean to make anyone sad, but a while ago all I could think of was that everyone in my family will eventually die. Now it came to me again. Grandparents, dad, mom. I will be left with a few semi-siblings who don't think too highly of me, and will be constantly told I am rude and bad etc. No one will be around to think of how I was like as a child, that I was ever good, or anything like that.
    I think it started a few years ago when I was playing this game with sad music, and suddenly I thought and realized my grama's going to die! And I just kept on playing and crying and crying. I can't stand sad music, which I always hear from the t.v. It makes me cry and think of this.
    Sometimes I think of how I'll be all alone and probably homeless or something like that. I want to spend time with people in my family, but I do not feel their warmth. They have been abusive to me, although not majorly, but they definitely fit under the category of "abusive" family, and a lot of people tell me to leave home, etc. Once I even had people tell me to go to a shelter...but I just want them to love me and to spend time with them :( It's not like this is all out of no where. I lived in a country with bombs and stuff (Israel) and there were times where we were close to ending up a terrorist's victim and stuff...but some how all this sadness comes out now.
    Sorry for all the rambling....
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi please don't be sorry for posting okay it helps You are spending so much time on worrying about death you are not living. Try each day to do something special okay one thing that will bring you happiness just one thing each day Your family you cannot change them but you can change who you are YOu can get a job get a place of your own meet new people that will bring you joy as well. Keep talking okay here keep posting Glad to see you reaching out for some support hugs
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    herenow, shalom: It seems when we are feeling so down, the circumstances around us are magnified...I have had to set limits about how I feel about society in order to use the energy for myself...sometimes we can only change what we can and if you family is not supportive, this is who they are going to be...find a space for yourself that allows you to feel comfortable and if they will be there, then they will, but do not count on them for that...they do not sound capable of that type of compassion...J