everythin started so well

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Unregistered101, Nov 16, 2007.

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  1. hello people

    sorry cant disclose my name , please forgive me

    anyway just a rant i spose! well i met my wife about 5 years ago (yes pretty much still newly weds lol) and well its hard to explain really, she has changed ALOT over the years, shes not the same woman i married. I married her cuz of her unique attributes, her views on life, her cloth style her taste in music, and unique sence of humour. I never met any other girl like her. but now i find shes not as unique as i first thought. She dresses like every1 else ,she doesnt have that different view on life. Shes just like any other woman out their. shes pickin up things other people are doin and pretty much copyin them, thats not unique at all!

    im much older than her and some of the things i find her doing i consider immature, and it really bugs me. am i just being a grumpy old man?

    but at the same time every day is the same with her , breakfast she goes to work , rings me and says the same thing , i can actually answer her before she even asks, its gettin very repetative! i just feel like i dont want her to change but at the same time change wud be nice from this well script we play everyday!! she has nothin excitin to talk about , i myself have nothing much to say aswell, need excitement in our lifes or else i dont see us being married for another 5 years!

    i fear that if i do sit down and talk to her about all this she might think i dont love her, i really do love her its just ....boring , script, not the same woman i fell in love with, yes i do realise people change but shes changed into someone completely different!

    sorry for the poor punctuation and spelling and thanks for takin the time to read my ramblings lol

    any replies would be greatful
     
  2. hmm

    hmm Guest

    I'm sorry to hear that your marriage has become predictable and boring.
    A lot of people settle into routines and after a few years of being together it's not uncommon for people to hit a "blah" period where you've seemingly heard eachother's stories and you're surrounded by the same people and the same things so nothing you talk about seems new anymore.
    It sounds promising that she calls you frequently and does want to converse with you about things even if the two of you have nothing to talk about and it seems like you're growing apart. Conversation goes both ways though.
    Perhaps you should try to change things up a bit. Read frequently and fervently with an open mind and ask her opinion on different things that you're learning about or watch very different movies or tv shows with her. Do something out of the ordinary...maybe arrange a date for the two of you to do something that you've never done before.
    Maybe you could take a class in your area together and learn how to do something as a couple. Cooking or perhaps something to do with art. Sometimes community centers offer these for free. Maybe the two of you could arrange a vacation to somewhere you've never been before. It could be somewhere far away or just a nearby town that you haven't been before.
    Surprising her with tiny gifts or notes might help to break her routine. If you show her that you care you might be surprised with the response that you get. Perhaps you could give her something that reminds you of the way she used to be.

    It won't hurt to try any of these things and at the very least it might make life more entertaining for you. If you're both doing new things maybe your focus will be taken off of how much she's changed and put more on growing together and learning about things together.

    I wish you well and I hope things look up for the both of you.

    P.S. I don't think you're becoming a grumpy old man. I think it's pretty normal to notice changes in our partner and to sometimes not be so pleased with what we see.
     
  3. thank you very much for ur advice and im gonna do exactly what u suggested, im usualy stubborn and never want to try anything apart from the things i know i myself can do, ive never took interest in her things, were 2 different people, i like blood and gore movies she likes comedy and romance, wont hurt to watch something different :)

    their is a community centre not far from our house, unfortantly its mostly for young people, and on sundays they do a prayers and stuff , which i and my wife dont do , where both athiests

    i really want to get her a present for christmas she would NEVER guess in a million years, every birthday and christmas she pretty much knows what ive got her

    just one thing , how can i tell her that im not liking the person shes turnin into, it sounds like im saying i dont love you, she might get the wrong idea.

    once again thank you very much for your advice
     

  4. The five-year mark in marriage seems to be common time for this to happen, from what I hear from friends. Small changes like the ones yu're thinking of can work wonders. Good on ya!
     
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