Everything I do is wrong

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Pixie, Sep 5, 2012.

  1. Pixie

    Pixie Member

    Just wanted to write this down somewhere in the hope it might stop going around in my head. Maybe I take it all the wrong way but I seem to have become an ongoing joke between my friends and family. They won't stop making remarks about me being useless. They like to point out that I'm useless at cooking, cleaning or doing anything practical. I can take a joke but its just all the time and really hurts me and makes me feel even more worthless. I have started to hate any kind of family gathering as it just means having to listen to people making jokes about me. I don't know if I'm just being over sensitive. But afterwards I keep hearing the things they have said in my head and get really angry about it and its getting worse and worse but at the time I just sit there and laugh with them. If I do get irritated with them at the time they all just start rolling their eyes up at each other as if to say 'oh god we were only joking.' But I just can't see how it can ever really be a joke to keep telling someone they are useless over and over again.

    I got really upset about it one day to my boyfriend and said I was sick of everyone calling me useless and he said 'well why do you live up to it then.' It's not even as if its one person. Its several people who do it so now I think I really must be useless. I knew it was always a running joke about me being a useless drip but now that I am a mother everyone expects me to be little miss perfect housewife and because I'm not that gives them the right to constantly tease me about being a failure.

    Everything I do is scrutinised. If I do attempt to cook anything or do anything when there is anyone else around they always stand over me talking in a patronising way about how I could do it another way or there is something wrong with what I'm doing. They talk to me as if I'm a complete idiot which I'm not and I also don't think there is anything wrong with the way I do things even if I do it slowly or it takes me ages to get anything done. I was asked to change the duvet in an elderly relatives house recently and did it while no one else was there. Later someone said 'oh you managed to get the duvet cover on the duvet then? I just thought 'why wouldn't I have managed it?' It's things like that all the time. I'm 36 years old. Why do they think I wouldn't have been able to chnage a duvet cover?

    I'm constantly really tired and really depressed and find it really hard to get stuff done and it's so hurtful to have to hear people saying these things about me. No one ever says anything positive to me. Ever. I feel like a worthless waste of space.

    Does this sound like paranoid whining? Do you think I'm being over sensitive? Does it really matter if a house is less than perfect. I just think its sad that its all anyone seems to care about. Why do people have to be like this?

    I just re read this and it does sound like pointless whining and I can't really explain it all. Just really upset that everyone thinks I'm a fool.
     
  2. Pixie

    Pixie Member

    I want to dlete this post but can't work out how...