Everything I touch goes wrong

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by resistance, Aug 25, 2006.

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  1. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I wasn't going to post but damn it, I need help badly. I think. I mean, part of me wants to be left alone, to be forgotten and for me to kill myself yet that small part of me wants to know I'm cared for because I'm feeling so empty and useless, and such a horrible pathetic person right now.

    Everything I touch goes wrong, it feels as though the life inside of me is draining and there's nothing much else left to grip onto and that rope I'm hanging on to is about to snap. The people who I love are snatched away from me whether it be through death or I simply get on their nerves and they don't want to know me anymore. This morning I found out someone whom I love has died and it kicked me when I was down and it really feels as though I am jinxed. Am I meant to be happy? I don't think so. I don't mean to sound as though I'm full of self pity because I'm not, it's just a fact that a majoriety of my life bad stuff has happened and the amount of bad outweighs the good and I can't help but think this trend is going to continue and I don't want to be here for it to happen. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of wanting to escape. I'm tired of everything. I want it to stop.
     
  2. kidinpain

    kidinpain Member

    i know how u feel i have felt this way for some years now and it sucks i have wanted to die i do not care about my self enymore i dont care if enything happenes to me but im scared of been forgotten it sounds stupid but life is amazing in its own way and it gives challenges that u must face and not give up on it sounds stpid i know but im tired xD
     
  3. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    loads of people care about you not just in this forum but in real life too. i will never stop telling you how special you are, no matter how much you may try to push me away because it is true.
     
  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I really doubt I'm 'special', if anything I'm more of an annoying little creature because I sure do feel like one after posting this. Feel as though I'm getting on peoples nerves again and as a result more people will dislike me. As I said in the other thread earlier, I'm really not worth anyones time and I wish every night I would fall asleep and never wake up, but unfortunately I do.
     
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry, I knew I shouldn't have posted this. :hug:
     
  6. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    you have just as much right to post your feelings as anyone else on this site :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
     
  7. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hiya.. sorry i've only just seen this thread. I dont think it was a mistake for you to post how you're feeling. You do have as much right as anyone else to post here and i for one am glad that you did.

    I'm really sorry for all that you're going through and the personal losses you've had to deal with recently. You do not deserve this pain, but just because you're going through a really rough time right now it does not mean things will always be like this.

    Let the tears come naturally. If you feel like crying, don't hold back. You need to mourn your losses.. and at the time look after yourself. Lean on those who care about you, i.e. us. We will be there for you as much as we can be.. please don't feel like you don't deserve it, because you definitely do.

    I love you a great deal and am here if you wanna talk about anything
    sending you big hugs
    Jenny xx
     
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am here for you as well resistance. And yes you are a special person. One that is full of caring and compassion for those around you. I am glad you chose to post how you feel so the rest of us can let you know that we stand behind you. You are loved hun. Don't be afraid to lean on us once in awhile, or as often as you need for that matter. Take care hun. :hug:
     
  9. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    i know im new to this forum bout allready i can see that a great deal of people on this forum do care for you and love you a great deal, and in my eyes for people to care and love you this much without even meeting you but just by talking on the internet does truely show that you are a SPECIAL person, a truely special person is able to show compassion for other people around them, is able to be there for someone in need of help and this is exactly what you have done on this forum, so when people say you are special believe them because you are! no one would say it if they didnt believe it!

    take care

    vikki x :hug:
     
  10. ministeve

    ministeve Member

    take this from Me, Making everyone happy isn't all its cracked up to be...
    I'm the guy that everyone likes. Seemingly always happy, Kind, caring, full of life, full of energy, always remembering to find the time to think about everyone. not the one anyone would ever entertain thoughts that I might be unhappy.

    Inside I die everynight, when the lights go out... you know how it is... the thoughts. the emotions... I know I'll be single forever. I can't be in a relationship. I end up questioning everything, doing the "why didn't she call me", "If we're sitting here and I put my arm around her will she reject me", "If I don't try I know this will end anywayz", "well that moments chance just passed..." I'd be a terrible boyfriend anyways"

    nobody around me knows these feelings of mine, unfortunatly they came to light when I had a breakdown, questioned my ex... threw my shoes at my father... had some flashbacks of my childhood... walked 2 miles barefoot across railroad tracks all the rocks stuff... couldn't walk for a few days, feet wrapped up... lost a lot of skin on the bottoms... no big deal... It's what happend when I got home thats the important thing... I pulled the gun... If my father hadn't been right behind me when I went for it... I still couild have done it but I didn't want to take him with me...

    never feel like you need to impress anyone... Its not worth it... besides everyone else seems to be selfish pricks anywayz...
    sk
     
  11. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Thank you so much for your kind words and yoursupport, i really don't feel worthy of it but it is appreciated nevertheles.

    Ministeve, I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time . I don't know a lot about you only from what you said in your post but I can tell your self confidence is pretty low. I'm sure you won't be single forever - I'm sure there is someone out there for you and when you get into your next reltionship it may be a good idea to talk to her about how you are feeling and can also help boost your esteeme.

    I'm sorry, I really wanted to give a helpful reply to your post butu I just can't seem to do it, my brain has kinda stopped fuctioning in a lot of areas recently which is why I haven't been posting much, sorry. Please feel free to PM me though if you want a chat anytime, I may not give the best advice but sometimes it helps to know someone is listening.

    Hugs to all. :hug:
     
  12. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    i wish i could express how much u do mean to so many of us here... i find you very worthy of friendship .. and i really hope life takes a turn for the better and gives you a break..

    u are so far from a being unliked or tiring... you are special .. and sensitive.. and caring.. and i really consider myself lucky to know you and have the wonderful opportunity to talk to you.... hugs... and hopes... always..
     
  13. One who listens..

    One who listens.. Well-Known Member

    Resistance, you've touched a lot of people, including me, and this forum, and I know I haven't gone wrong, and this forum is still up with people recieving help, so not everything you touch goes wrong.

    And how can you say you don't give help well, look at your post right above mine! Even your own thead where, when you need comforting, you are comforting, consoling, and giving advice to others!

    I think your about as far from "an annoying little creature" as a human can get. Your always looking to help people, rarely ask for much in return, even though you are having your own problems. That's something to be admired.

    A big hug to you :hug:
     
  14. me1

    me1 Well-Known Member

    Resistance,


    Please dont put yourself down like this. I do not know you but i need only read the posts of people on here who do to see that you are a wonderful person that has helped a great many people. I am sorry that life is so bad for you right now and hope that it improves soon. Take care and always willing to listen.

    *hugs*

    grant (TheAM)
     
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