I wasn't going to post but damn it, I need help badly. I think. I mean, part of me wants to be left alone, to be forgotten and for me to kill myself yet that small part of me wants to know I'm cared for because I'm feeling so empty and useless, and such a horrible pathetic person right now. Everything I touch goes wrong, it feels as though the life inside of me is draining and there's nothing much else left to grip onto and that rope I'm hanging on to is about to snap. The people who I love are snatched away from me whether it be through death or I simply get on their nerves and they don't want to know me anymore. This morning I found out someone whom I love has died and it kicked me when I was down and it really feels as though I am jinxed. Am I meant to be happy? I don't think so. I don't mean to sound as though I'm full of self pity because I'm not, it's just a fact that a majoriety of my life bad stuff has happened and the amount of bad outweighs the good and I can't help but think this trend is going to continue and I don't want to be here for it to happen. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of wanting to escape. I'm tired of everything. I want it to stop.