I thought I was recovering. A month in hospital, numerous appointments with a dietitian, psychologists, a family therapist, psychiatrists...but it's all back. All of it. I've started counting calories and restricting again, I've stopped interacting with friends, started lying to family, isolating myself. I have no motivation for anything and I just can't go on anymore. I can't keep fighting. I've given up on everything and I have no hope for the future. And there's only one person who cares about me. But I doubt they'd even bother doing anything to stop me. It's not going to be long until I find the means to end it all.