since i became an adult, i have always felt that my life has been a downward spiral. each decision i make is a decision to bury me even deeper. recently, i have done a stupid mistake. a major one, enough to split my own family. needless to say, trust is no longer there. and aside from feeling depressed, i have also been paranoid. wish i had a switch to turn myself off instantly. i do not know what else to do, i am close to giving up on everything.