I've worked on this for months,wrapping up final paperwork and legal stuff. Figuring out exactly what to do and how to carry it out and the way to make it not look like suicide. So now it is all finished. I have the perfect opportunity coming later today and it is so strange and scary. I have this crazy adrenaline rush kind of feeling and I know it could be over very soon if I walk out of here and get in my car and drive away. Like there is no way I can stop it from happening once I leave. I'm almost sick and have a nervous feeling like I will throw up. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this jumble of feelings crashing together and swirling in my head! I'm sure other people here have felt this way? I've been so focused on preparations the last few weeks and I had no doubts but now that it is time, I'm just not 100% sure that it is right, I'm doubting myself. I don't really know how to figure it out and at the same time I feel compelled to just follow the plan. What if this is wrong? I mean, I know it is wrong to actually commit suicide for most people but I was positive that it is the right thing for me up until right now.