I'm 19 and I go to a great college and I hate everything. Ever since I was little, I have always had these intense fantasies about celebrities and I would create imaginary friends in my head because the ones that I had in real life just weren't good enough. I still do this all the time. I'm 19 and I still have imaginary friends. I lay in my bed all the time and just fantasize about Hugh Laurie (i know, i'm so lame) and then when I am forced to snap back into reality, I realize that everything that I like is fake and reality is just a huge disappointment. I have friends at college, but lately I hate everything that I like (if that makes any sense). It literally pains me so much that my fantasy life will never be my real life. It will never happen and I just want to throw up thinking about it. basically don't want to live in this world at all because I feel so lonely that I have to resort to these ridiculous daydreams constantly. I will always be disappointed with my friends and anyone else I have in my life in the future because they will never live up to these fantasies that I have of these fake people that I want so desperately to be real. I never want to get any older because I'm terrified of being on my own. I like that my parents take care of everything for me, even though I don't really get along with them. I want to just end everything right now so that I don't have to keep living this disappointment. I am so stressed about nothing in particular and everytime I look out the window, I wonder what would happen if I just jumped. I'm sitting here trying to write a paper for my literature class and I just want to die. I can't focus. I can never focus on anything. Just even attempting suicide right now seems like the best idea possible.