everything is bad. it's all rubbish. since going back to sixth form, it's been rubbish. my friends are stressed and depressed, and that makes me feel really bad because there's not much I can do. one of my closest friends has been cutting herself. doing anything for a laugh, I made fun of the principle and now I'm excluded, most likely permanently. I don't think any 6th form will accept me now because we are too far into the year. on top of all this, I visited my dying father in hospital yesterday, and things are worse than I expected. he doesn't have long left, there is no cure for his disease, and he's filled with so many regrets. when he hugged my mum, I could see he still loves her, even though they broke up about 10 years ago. it feels like everyone around me is dying. my granddad has had a stroke, my mum has blood cancer, 2 of my aunties have cancers too, and my other auntie is slowly killing herself with some horrible drugs, and my nan's suffering due to old age. my younger brother is also suicidal. I don't know what to do. everyone is just miserable but I try to hide my feelings. I think I'm just destined for a future which only gets worse.