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Everything seems to keep sliding downhill

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I find myself feeling more empty than usual lately. Like there's really no purpose to live anymore. I'm sitting here staring at my computer screen wondering where my life went, like it was only yesterday I was basking in the innocence of childhood, but now there's nothing but this shit, this same ol' shit.

Seriously, who said that college would be your best yours? It's the same old shit again, the same boring shit. Nothings changed, and I just feel indifferent about everything. I just feel useless, just another face people see. I don't mind much, but the built up emotions start tearing me up inside. I think the worst blow, was when my ex texted me asking me for help because her current boyfriend got mad at her. I couldn't help but laugh inside, a shallow and sad laugh, because even though I suspected she had a boyfriend I wouldn't expect her to actually be so oblivious to the fact that I still had feelings for her. I've had it with her and her stupidity. I'm not surprised that she moved on so quickly, even though she told me she had feelings for me when she broke up for me (and still to this day she never told me why she did) but the fact she completely disregards my own personal feelings is just a deep blow to my heart.

I'm sick of all this shit piling onto each other, I know life isn't suppose to be easy, but life is suppose to be enjoyable too. But yet, I can't find one enjoyable thing about my life right now. My head is so filled with bad thoughts I just want to literally smash my head into the wall till my skull breaks.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi you i hope you did not respond to your ex s he moved on you owe her nothing I do hope you also reach out for some support oka y. You talk to school councillors talk to your doctor and get some help okay so you can stop feeling so down hugs to you


Staff Alumni
Hi Tatsuhiro,


I've also found college to be like an extension of high school or grade school. Not something some enjoy, unfortunately. For me, it's the same-old, same-old and I find it hard to stay motivated at times. Sorry to see all of this bogging you down.


Take care,

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