I work full time all day long (sometimes getting only 2-3 hours of sleep between each job) at a job I hate commuting a half hour each way, where if I get promoted that just means I have to work 6-7 days a week for a little extra money and another one I don't hate but suck at to afford to live in a small room in my mom's house that I don't even spend time in really and not even enough to cook food, can't afford to live on my own (or it'd be the same shit cept I'd have to pay more thus work more just to afford some place I barely spend enough time at to sleep... this skyrocketing rent is ridiculous like Obamacare, forced to spend all that money I worked my ass off for just for a bunch of healthcare I don't even use) am a 3-time dropout at school (dropped out of middle school, high school AND college) so I'm fucking stupid, I have a few people I can call friends but no real intimacy or closeness with anyone much less anything romantic, have shitty genes because my parents gave birth to me too late in life (yep, c-section loser baby here,) have nothing to live for except this stupid pipe dream of being an actor but can't cause of shitty acne on my body and having a voice like a retard (which is why I can't sing either, another dead dream of mine) as well as living about 375 miles away from Hollywood, am too disobedient to be a docile slave like it's becoming demanded of in this culture (but don't get me wrong, I know that even though there is no more freedom in America, there's no freedom left anywhere else in the world either,) I can't get any women except for desperate drunken cougars at the bar that I work at (and if I'm lucky) that I have no attraction to, I am lucky if I can force down 2 meals a day, can't cook for beans, don't feel like doing anything anymore, can't even get the willpower to stop watching pornography thus making my acne worse (much less stop any of my other vices,) am generally useless and ugly and short with no talents... can't even beat video games that 12 years olds can with frightening regularity. All this doesn't piss me off that much, it's society and their "on the fence" attitude about "survival of the fittest" that we humans falsely believe we are exempt from... if I'm not fit to live, so be it, but don't keep shaming me for feeling suicidal. Just let me fucking die with some dignity intact like the Samurai and other retainers of Feudal Japan! Shit or get off the pot, society! Thus, suicide is really my only solution, and even if the dumbass saying of "permanent solution to a temporary problem" (which is BS by the way because most if not all of these fucked up problems ARE permanent) is correct, at least it IS a solution instead of struggling with the same shit year after year. I'm aiming to not see my 28th birthday, so yeah, this suicide NEEDS to happen. Sorry, I wish I could say something positive bout this post... oh yeah, I have no debt so once I kill myself at least my niece and nephew will have a little extra money once they turn 18 (if American money is worth 2 shits in the future, that is) so yeah... at least I'm not a COMPLETE asshole even though I'm a misfit and social pariah stuck on the fringes of society. fuck, I can't even write a coherent post on here. Jesus, that's fucking pathetic.