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everything sux

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I hate everything

I want to be strong, I know people have it much worse than me. I am so ashamed of feeling depressed and suicidal. I want to fix it, I want to feel emotions again and have goals. I want to want....to want more than to sleep 15 hours a day. If I had insurance, I could get help. No insurance, no hope.

I just want it to stop. (won't be much longer)
i cannot just go to the hospital, i don't have insurance.

if I had insurance, I would go check in. now, if i do, just a large hospital bill to leave my family with.

a few months back, i went to a state hospital. it was bad. i just told them I was fine so i could get out. no help at all.

here in the US, no insurance, no help.
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