Everything

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

I don't really have one reason. Can everything be my reason?

I don't know... I thought making an end to it would solve it all, but does it really? I am too scared to do it anyway. Although I know that I shouldn't be scared and just get over with it and I'll be painless forever.

I am sorry I don't have a whole story to tell, but if only you knew, I couldn't tell it all in one story.



So, there you go, my first and very impulsive post on this forum.

But to not make this thread totally pointless, here's a little question:

Does making an end to it solve it all? (I can't find an answer to this, maybe it's an answerless question, but do please help me to find it.)


Jimmy.

 

[Andrew452]

My reason for not ending it is the hope things will get better and one day I will be happy. In my case I think that hope is very small and it may not be worth the all the suffering I go through to get there but I'm only 24. So I figure if i can endure this and somehow find a way to enjoy life by the time I'm 35 or even 45 I could still have a good 20 years or more of happiness. It's more likely things will get worse but I don't know yet and that's what keeps me alive.

Anyway your question about solving problems is a hard one. You won't have any problems once your dead but it's impossible to solve any problems when your dead. I assume you want to solve a problem to improve your life? Well you can't improve you life once you dead. That's my opinion on the matter anyway. Death would end my suffering but it wouldn't solve my problems or give me happiness.

 

[jane doe]

i can´t tell you if killing yourself will solve it all, because what you want is to end with your pain, not with your life. if you end your life, will it worth anything? you say you want to die, but is that what you really want? or do you want to LIVE a happy life ? if you want something different and you already tryed everything, you just must to wait, changes don´t come when you want, the changes will appear when it must to appear. if you want to talkjust pm me

 

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

My reason for not ending it is the hope things will get better and one day I will be happy. In my case I think that hope is very small and it may not be worth the all the suffering I go through to get there but I'm only 24. So I figure if i can endure this and somehow find a way to enjoy life by the time I'm 35 or even 45 I could still have a good 20 years or more of happiness. It's more likely things will get worse but I don't know yet and that's what keeps me alive.

I too have that little hope in me, (as well as my fear of the pain althought I think I would be able to get over that eventually), but I wonder what if one day I will loose that little hope? I am only 17, I still have my life in front of me. But yet I feel I have wasted all those 17 years, and as you know, your youth is supposed to be one of the greatest times. Is it worth waiting for those better times? And meanwhile just keep on suffering? And what if they'll never come, those better times?

Thanks for replying.

 

[jane doe]

if you are young of soul you don´t necesary be young of age.

 

[Andrew452]

I too have that little hope in me, (as well as my fear of the pain althought I think I would be able to get over that eventually), but I wonder what if one day I will loose that little hope? I am only 17, I still have my life in front of me. But yet I feel I have wasted all those 17 years, and as you know, your youth is supposed to be one of the greatest times. Is it worth waiting for those better times? And meanwhile just keep on suffering? And what if they'll never come, those better times?

Thanks for replying.

I don't have an answer to those questions and I ask myself them every day. The future in uncertain and you just need to try to be strong enough to live today so you can see tomorrow. It is very hard to do and I can't tell you it will be worth it but life is what it is. I can tell you however from my own experience that time can make a world of difference... sometimes for better sometimes for worse.

 

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

Maybe I should just keep holding on to that little hope. Sometimes the hope is strong, sometimes it seems to be almost gone. I am too afraid to think what will happen when it will be totally gone.

I want to live a happy life yes, but in all those years I have never been able to succeed to make my life happy.
If death will solve that, I don't know. By being death my suffering will be over. But the pain will remain. I will have given up so many things. And I will forever blame myself for not have given it another chance.
But then again, when you're death everything is over, so does it really matter?

So to sum up, basically got to just keep on suffering, keeping the flame of hope burning and hoping the flame won't fade out, but become huge and so I'll be finally happy...

 

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

i can´t tell you if killing yourself will solve it all, because what you want is to end with your pain, not with your life. if you end your life, will it worth anything? you say you want to die, but is that what you really want? or do you want to LIVE a happy life ? if you want something different and you already tryed everything, you just must to wait, changes don´t come when you want, the changes will appear when it must to appear. if you want to talkjust pm me

I am awaiting those changes.
And thank you.

 

[jane doe]

your pain won´t dissapear, it will remind in those who loves you and those who ever tried to help you.

 

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

Anyway your question about solving problems is a hard one. You won't have any problems once your dead but it's impossible to solve any problems when your dead. I assume you want to solve a problem to improve your life? Well you can't improve you life once you dead. That's my opinion on the matter anyway. Death would end my suffering but it wouldn't solve my problems or give me happiness.

Interesting to read how you feel about this question. And for your answer: yes, these things have crossed my mind. Jane is right that your pain will be in those who loved you and were there for you. I guess that is what is holding me back too. Now I just got to make them worth living for at all times, as that is not always the case, not many people are here for me and those who are, aren't there always. Will they feel the same pain when I'm gone as much as I felt pain living? I guess it's wrong to think of that. But as you see I am lost.

 

[theleastofthese]

Killing yourself may end YOUR mortal pain and fears, but it will make a living hell for those left behind, those who love you. It would leave them to wrestle with a huge and unanswerable "IF ONLY..." and will rob them of sleep for too many nights to come. I think about suicide every day but deny myself the right to actually do it, as I love my family - even if I don't love myself - and won't torment them that way. I've seen the damage suicide does to the family and friends, and I won't do that.

least

 

[jane doe]

you aren´t lost you should keep fighting, make yourself stronger that you think you can, you must concentrate in yourself, and notthing else, try to improve your skills, listen music very loud and sing, yell if you need to unload anger and i prommes i will here to support you as much as i can

 

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

you aren´t lost you should keep fighting, make yourself stronger that you think you can, you must concentrate in yourself, and notthing else, try to improve your skills, listen music very loud and sing, yell if you need to unload anger and i prommes i will here to support you as much as i can

The thing is noone knows about this. Some friends know I am sad often, but also to them (and to anyone else) I am a very happy, open, fun guy. I have once even visited a psychologist, my mum never knew why and she did ask, but I never told her. I am this person who keeps his problems to himself, I guess the reason is shame and weakness, I don't wanna be the less good one. I already feel like that, I don't want other people to see me like that as well.
I cannot think of myself more than I already do, I already come over as self-centered. If my problems would just go away at once...:huh:

 

[blackfire]

Have you ever been on meds. This helps give you happy thoughts. The pain decreases and you feel better. Ending it is not always the answer we are looking for....we just want the pain to go away. The pain is what brings us down and makes us sad.

 

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna die along with 2006.

 

[gentlelady]

Hang in there Jimmy. You really should talk to someone about the way you feel. Don't act until you have exhausted all options. You still have many left. Talk to us and ket us support you in seeking help. You have reached out here. Let us help. PM me if you need someone to listen to you. Please take care. :hug:

 

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

I have already seen a psychologist last year, didn't bother nor help.

Noone else can say they died together with 2006. I think it is nice.

 

[Jimmy_Boeboe!]

Hang in there Jimmy. You really should talk to someone about the way you feel. Don't act until you have exhausted all options. You still have many left. Talk to us and ket us support you in seeking help. You have reached out here. Let us help. PM me if you need someone to listen to you. Please take care. :hug:

Sorry to be pessimist, I am not refusing your help. But what do you do when you're totally lost. I don't know.

 

[Metallica*Melinda]

I don't think killing urself solves it all, like the saying goes,
Suicide
is
a
permanant
solution
to
a
temporary
problem.
I may not believe that but its something that is said... could be true, you never know.

 

[Metallica*Melinda]

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna die along with 2006.

Just try to live please?
I don't want you to die, nobody here does...