Hi everyone, Been a while since I posted here but tonight I just feel like I need to. So basically.. I studied 3D Animation in New Zealand, where I was born, raised, and have never left and have no way to leave. Upon completing the course our government changed and this one wont match incentives for films to be made in NZ that other countries offer, so the work has gone and I spent 2 years trying to find a job to no avail. I've been on social welfare for 8 years now.. I don't know how much longer they'll keep me on it and I can't get work if they take me off. My financial situation is bad to say the least. Recently my mental health care vaporized, they said I need independence from the services to move on with my life. And I was actually doing okay. But now not so much. They're going to transfer me to a government-funded private organization which seems fine. They don't have psychiatrists/doctors, though, so I have to get my medical certificates and meds from a GP. GP's do not understand my situation, and they can't comprehend it like a psychiatrist can. My last medical certificate from 2 weeks ago said I had trouble concentrating and something else minor, with an old diagnosis put down because they didn't have my updated medical files. I'm fearing for the result of my re-application. My previous mental health team would of fought the outcome until they receded, this one wont lift a finger... and I'm not even listed with them yet, I'm on a waiting list. I know if I work I'll be setting myself up to fail, there's no way I can handle the pressure. And not just that, if I work it will mean.. well, all the dead-end jobs are taken, there are no animation jobs, and I have no other qualifications, so I can't actually get one.. but if I did, it'd be crap, and I'd not make it at all. I need to REALLY motivate myself to go in each day. So I want to study, being able to study depends on my re-application for supported living benefit (previously called invalids). I want to study because after I get over this thing (to say it lightly) I want a decent career. And because the only time my health EVER improved outside of medication and therapy is when I was studying, and I've hit a wall, I'll never get better if I don't do something and working is not an option. But none of them understand it. Not my GP, *DEFINITELY NOT* the government, no one really. I'm at the end of my rope really, but my depression hasn't entirely come back so that's something - I can still think logically and see a way through it, but it's weighing me down so I wanted to talk about it. There is the option of student allowance, but that gets $230/wk, minus what I owe the government from mandatory advanced bringing it down to about $215/wk, minus rent/expenses $205/wk, that's $10/wk for food.. not possible AT ALL. Which means I'd have to study full-time and work part-time, which again, isn't possible for me in any way or form. I can't handle that at all. Just really not sure what to do now. And it's several months until the course even starts so... I'm bored out of my mind, going crazy because I have no life. Thanks for reading, look forward to your responses if there are any.