everythings feels more real now.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by saint6, Jun 9, 2008.

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  1. saint6

    saint6 Well-Known Member

    well my life is complete shit, and been getting worse and worse as i go now. but now everything seems different than before. someone i knew, well i wasn't that close to him or anything just knew him from school, committed suicide. as soon as i herd it, everything seemed different. i was sad as usual but it felt different, i just sat all day thinking about my life and his and what could of made him do it, how he had the balls to go through with it. and when i was riding home from school, my road looked different, literally it didnt look the same as every other day. idk what is going on but after seeing everyones reaction and my own, i could see my name put in place of his.

    idk whats going on
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I don't think you should compare yourself to him. He had hit rock bottom and didn't think he could go on living. Now that was just a guess! I don't know him so I can't judge him for what he did. Or praise him for what he did.
    The one thing you need to think about and that is once you go for it thats it . It's over and there is nothing you can do about it. Suicide is permanet, you can't turn around and change your mind.
    I shouldn't be talking like that because I am suicidal and I have decided how and when I am going to go thru with it. I have had fourteen years to think it over! I'm ready to commit! The only thing I haven't figured out is how is this going to affect my daughter and grandaughter. She told me if I do it she will never forgive me...:chopper:
  3. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    i have felt similar. i had a ex commit suicide and all i could think about is, how i should be where he is. and idk as stranger said, its permanent,and there is no turning back. there is no, 'oh let me try it a different way,i dont like that one' and you should try to think of positives things. like maybe where the roads in life will lead you, and you may not get to the bottom of the hole,like your friend felt.

  4. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    It's not as if someone commiting suicide is an easy fact to deal with, you DID know him somwehat, and it makes sense that you should look at your lif in a new context, but try to be honest with yourself now. Suicide isn't a good example for anyone to follow. Nobody knows what would have happened if all the people never succumbed to their depression, and being suicidal is a totally different experience for everyone. If it ever comes down to suicide, the only influence for such a final an risky decision should be your own honest opinion, and we hope you can someday see what that person had missed in his life.
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