Everythings hopeless and it feels fine

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by BlondRedHead, Jul 15, 2009.

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  1. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    I am just over everything. Between my dad getting drunk and telling me I am a loser and he is just sooo disappointed in me (and he is my go to guy), my siblings starting trouble for me for the fun of it, my bipolar mom getting back with her bipolar bf and their drama, my family shunning me because they think I might be like my mom (not from anything I said or actions I have done but simply because I am her daughter) and my backwards family intervention (basically they all told me I am too positive and optimistic and I need to come down to reality, stop trying to save the world and realize the world sucks. Seriously, that was my intervention) I am done with all of them. Their stupid drama is sucking the life out of me.

    My mom took a camera from her cheating bf when they broke up last week. I saw the camera on the floor last night, played with it a few minutes and then put it on her dresser so our dogs wouldn't get to it. She came home and went off on me for touching it. Did I ask? Is it mine? Could have broken it, yada yada. Mind you I have owned a house, I have cameras and cars and I'm 27! I'm not 10... I am just so numb now I worry I might turn into some serial killer or something. Like she had Cancer and major heart surgery this yr alone and you think she would have this awakening, this like, be nice and embrace your life! No, she is still so negative and calls me to yell and gets in my face and I'm like, Aren't you dead yet? Isn't that horrible?! Horrible to say or even think? I feel bad for thinking that way... well not bad but I feel like I should feel bad because that's as close as I get to emotion now days.

    I am just done you guys. I am done with it all and half the time no one responds to me on here and that just makes me feel even more alone.

    I need to write off the family, need to start over somewhere new with new people and some positive insights. People here are mad at me. Mad at me for nothing. I am constantly told that when I look at people they think I can see all their secrets, they tell me they worry I know what they are thinking lol. Crazy. If this was the 18th century I'd be hung for being a witch. So when I go see my family they walk around on edge because I have this awareness (I wasn't aware OF lol until they told me over n over) and I think I finally realized I do see it all. I see their faults and watching them I do not want to be like any of them. I hate them too. And I have always been a lover, a lover of life and found happiness and magic in everything... I feel like they finally snipped the invisible thread holding me to my young heart and whimsical nature. They have finally made me cold, like them.

    I took four of these little pills today I am only supposed to take 1 of, maybe two. I need to go lay down because my mind is so cloudy and I am not making sense.

    Why am I not important to anyone? Who's going to save ME.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry your family life is so negative Is there anyway you could move out with an aunt a different relative. Is there a school councillor you could talk to a doctor . I know you are down but taking too many medication will only harm you and maybe cause permanent liver damage kidney damage and you don't want that. Please reach out and talk with someone I am glad you came here as we are here to listen and try to help vent all you want. take care
  3. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    .......... I got nothin
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 15, 2009
  4. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    You definitely need to get away from those people... I have a really toxic family too, and they enjoy weighing me down with all their problems. I escaped from them two years ago, without much money or a plan, somehow I'm okay, and you can do it too. You should find a way to sell your house, rent an apartment or something, and definitely see a professional that can help you deal with this nonsense. The little pills don't save anybody on their own. =(
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