Eve's side of the story

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by neverdie, Feb 13, 2008.

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  1. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.

    'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.

    'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells,
    the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me.
    The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,
    catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain,' reported Eve.
    Then Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs,
    eyes, ears, etc.......she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced,'
    as she put it.

    'That is a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts,
    so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'
    And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

    Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.'Well, Eve, how is my
    favourite creation?'

    ''Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight on your part.
    You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull.
    All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

    God thought for a moment and said, 'you know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this?
    You do need a mate and I will immediatelycreate a man from a part of you.
    Now let's see.......where did I put that useless Tit'?

    Now doesn't THAT make more sense than the rib version?

  2. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    :laugh: Good one
  3. Yeah - Good one! :biggrin:

    Here's one on a similar theme...

    * * *

    This is how it really happened!

    One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
    "God, I have a problem!"

    "What's the problem, Eve?"

    "God, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all
    of these wonderful animals and that hilarious snake, but I'm just not happy."

    "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

    "God, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

    "Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

    "What's a man?"

    "This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat,
    and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But… he'll
    be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will be
    witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball
    about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly.
    He will look silly when he's aroused but since you've been
    complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your
    physical needs"

    "Sounds great." Says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch?"

    "Well. You can have him on one condition."

    "And what's that, God?"

    "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and egocentric. So you'll have to
    let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret…
    You know, woman to woman.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :clap: :clap: :clap:
  6. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Those were great!!!! :biggrin:
  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

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