Ex Boyfriend.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by whoaaxxsamm, Jan 7, 2011.

  1. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    My ex boyfriend has been talking to me on MSN for the past two nights.
    I think it's purely out of boredom, but still confuses me.

    This was the only boy I have ever been in love with.
    He had my heart for so long, and I have only just gotten over him.
    Why does he choose now to start talking to me?

    Every time we have these short conversations, he always kind of brings up our sexual history somehow, which really upsets me.
    He likes to joke around about it.
    It's really humiliating.

    Just tonight, he was talking about how bored he was, then proceeded to ask me if I was home alone.
    I wasn't, but what did he want?
    I mean, I can only imagine.
    There was this part of me that wished I was home alone, just so I could see him again, even knowing what he most likely wanted. :(
    That's just horrible.
    I just haven't had any kind of affection for so long, and his seemed so familiar even though it has been 2 and a half years.
    I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I'm better than that! I'm just so lonely.

    He will always have a place in my heart, that won't change, but the intensity of how I felt towards him, cannot return.
    It tore me apart, and I can't let that happen ever again.

    He tries to make me do things on webcam for him.
    I hate being some piece of ass to every guy out there.
    I just want someone to love me, for me, and not expect that from me.
    Will that ever happen in this world, or am I just a dreamer?

    *This is most likely a rant, and can be moved if need be. I just wasn't sure where to put it.

    ** Hmm, after reading this, I feel really stupid. What am I thinking? Who would want to have sex with me? Maybe he was genuinely 'Just wondering'.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2011
  2. SweetTearsOfDeath

    SweetTearsOfDeath Well-Known Member

    Hey, I understand how you feel. Same thing happened to me about a year ago. Best thing to do is just to distance your self away from him or tell him how you feel. Wether or not you want to have sex or not with him and all of that stuff. Sinse I do not know why you two broke up.. I can't say much.. But a rule of mine is to never go back to my ex. No matter how I felt for them because there was a reason we broke up. You are not just a piece of ass for guys. I thought I used to feel like that. You are worth so much more. Every guy should be eye candy for you, no the other way around. If you ever need to talk to some one.. I'm here. You can pm me anytime. Have a nice night.
  3. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
    It's just really hard to deal with.
    He left me because of my mental health.
    I don't want to have sex with him, but he was the only person I have ever 'made love' to, so it's just hard when he ridicules everything our relationship was ever about.
    I have mostly forgotten about it, but when he starts saying these things, the thoughts come back.
    I should really distance myself from him. You are right. Thanks again.
  4. SweetTearsOfDeath

    SweetTearsOfDeath Well-Known Member

    No problem girl. If all he thinks about is sex when you pop into his mind, he doesn't deserve you. Don't let him bring those thoughts back. You are strong enough that you should be able to just say no. Just distance yourself from him and think about the things that make you smile. I think it is cowdonkey that he left you for your mental health. A guy did that to me and it ruined me. I let it get the best of me... Now I look back and realize I shouldn't have. I am who I am and if he doesn't like it, he can kiss my butt!
    You are so very welcome. I hope all goes well and things get better for you, sinse you deserve it.
  5. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much once again. I'm sorry that you had to go through that too. it's very hard.

    PS. LOLL Are you using an Ipod, because that would be a really awesome autocorrect mistake. Cowdonkey = cowardly?
  6. SweetTearsOfDeath

    SweetTearsOfDeath Well-Known Member

    Actually, I'm on my home computer. I could just say bullshit but I figured since I was on a public site I would come up with something a little funny instead. I guess it didn't work? Lol. It's no big deal and I hope everything turns out okay for you.:hugtackles:
  7. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Well, it made me smile, so that is a good thing. :)
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey Sam i agree block him from your msn okay he is an ass just really hurting you that is all he is doing. Block him from you phone everything okay so he can never hurt you again like he did. You deserve better okay you really do
  9. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    You deserve better! Don't let him undermine your self esteem! X
  10. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Thank you everyone.
    It's really hard for me to accept the possibility that I might deserve better, if not anyone at all, but I'm trying.
    I do appreciate the replies.
    I just had to get it off my chest. :hug:
  11. SweetTearsOfDeath

    SweetTearsOfDeath Well-Known Member

    You are very welcome and I'm glad I got you to smile[: Again if you ever need to let off some more steam, you can pm me.