My ex boyfriend has been talking to me on MSN for the past two nights. I think it's purely out of boredom, but still confuses me. This was the only boy I have ever been in love with. He had my heart for so long, and I have only just gotten over him. Why does he choose now to start talking to me? Every time we have these short conversations, he always kind of brings up our sexual history somehow, which really upsets me. He likes to joke around about it. It's really humiliating. Just tonight, he was talking about how bored he was, then proceeded to ask me if I was home alone. I wasn't, but what did he want? I mean, I can only imagine. There was this part of me that wished I was home alone, just so I could see him again, even knowing what he most likely wanted. That's just horrible. I just haven't had any kind of affection for so long, and his seemed so familiar even though it has been 2 and a half years. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I'm better than that! I'm just so lonely. He will always have a place in my heart, that won't change, but the intensity of how I felt towards him, cannot return. It tore me apart, and I can't let that happen ever again. He tries to make me do things on webcam for him. I hate being some piece of ass to every guy out there. I just want someone to love me, for me, and not expect that from me. Will that ever happen in this world, or am I just a dreamer? *This is most likely a rant, and can be moved if need be. I just wasn't sure where to put it. ** Hmm, after reading this, I feel really stupid. What am I thinking? Who would want to have sex with me? Maybe he was genuinely 'Just wondering'.