I wish I didn't have to go on living. I wish I didn't have to see the sadness on my kids' faces when they find out. They have been my life through all this. Now, I am going to be alone. But I have to go on for them. She really does hate me. I don't feel like typing tonight. I'm just going to go to sleep. I just lost everything I had left. Maybe I really was that bad of a husband. Maybe this is all my own fault. Maybe I deserve all this. I don't know, anymore.