Ex Thoughts

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by MoAnamCara, Jul 19, 2011.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm not sure why within the last week these thoughts have come to mind. There are some things going on in my life and I know the stress can retrigger old traumas etc.

    I've been thinking at night about my ex coming to find me. Its probably silly after all this time. But the thoughts are there, and at night when things are quiet its hard to deal with. Even typing this is making my breathing shallow.

    The thought scares me a lot.

    Is it because I'm thinking I'll be on my own soon and its all tied into that or I wonder why my mind is worrying about this, like where did it come from all of a sudden?

    Any ideas about this? I'm not sure I can prevent the thoughts, I wish I could. I know I need to handle them better as its not helping me right now.
  2. Jeserai

    Jeserai Well-Known Member

    I don't exactly know your situation. But I know that trauma's can be stuck away for a long time, and then all of a sudden re-emerge. Maybe there has been a trigger you don't know of, but sometimes even without a trigger.

    Can you maybe write on a paper helpfull thoughts, which you can read when you get overwelmed at night.
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Jeserai - thanks.

    Its just not pleasant. And right now I know I'm heading there yet again. Hate this.
  4. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    Mo, I wish I were stronger and wiser so that I could help you. Please know that you are often in my thoughts and I want nothing but the best for you. :hug:
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Oh, I think you are very strong and quite wise, but you need to look after yourself too.

    Here, too, if you need anything.
  6. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I too had abusive exs.One raped me when I was screaming and mentally ill ,the other beat me to the point where I passed out and might never have woken up.
    Every day I remember and I feel empty inside.the doctors say 'oh I dont think you had a bad life'
    All I can say is maybe try and write about it or go for a run.I find writing helps but I dont know what your outlet is ,mine is writing or exercise.I am glad you have found someone better this time.hugs.
  7. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I am sorry, starryeyed, that you went through those things.
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