excerpt from my journal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ImmuremenT, Sep 23, 2014.

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  1. ImmuremenT

    ImmuremenT New Member

    I feel an escape is nearing. I'm not sure if it's positive or not but I hope it will be. What I want most is my inner-peace back. I envy the person I used to be; too bad I took so many things for granted. It's such a shame really. I look back at my past and recall what I thought were happy memories, and I do cherish them, but they also make me feel lost because I have a feeling I'll never feel even close to the same aliveness I once felt. It's not even just about what I think is wrong with me inside and out, something much more horrible has manifested in me. I am an empty shell of what I want to be and an empty husk of what I will never be. Feeling like I'm always reaching to better myself but always seems to be out of my grasp. Always reaching, never there.
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Sorry you are feeling so rough. Would it help to talk about what is making you feel this way??
     
  3. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    Sad, but beautiful text, hang in there, here you have a safe haven where you can talk and be open without being judged, we are here for you :)
     
  4. ImmuremenT

    ImmuremenT New Member

    Thank you all so much for the kind words. I feel comfortable in relieving my true feelings here as I cannot do that in real life without some sort of consequence. It feels liberating to the soul.

    Sadly, these sort of feelings are a daily occurrence for me and will never end until my situation is rectified. The light seems to be dimming.
     
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