Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by wanttodie, Nov 2, 2007.
Is it a type of OCD ?
I really want to end this dirty habit. I have been masturbating since the age of 5 or 6 and it has really messed up my brain. I did not realize until now that something about me is abnormal.
No its not. Certain hormonal imbalances, caused by a dysfunction of a gland can lead to an increased sex-drive but frequent masturbation is not an indication for that.
It is not abnormal and a dirty habit. exactly the opposite. You getting to know your body in all its sexual totality. more info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation
I'm sorry, but I just can't help of thinking:
"Jim I want to talk about masturbation."
It's not disgusting, it's perfectly normal and every bloke does it.
How often makes it excessive exactly.....?
I think it really depends upon how much you actually engage in this behavior. I mean TTDF has a point in that it is a somewhat natural thing, but how much is too much? Are you doing it in inappropriate places at inappropriate times? Is it an obsession? Are you constantly thinking about it when you can't do it? Does it control the way you plan your day/life? If the habit actually affects how you plan and live your life, then it should be treated the same way as a sex addiction. If it is hurting your general productivity or your personal life, then I would say you need to cut down on your "me time". Think about WHY you do it. What feelings do you have when you feel this urge. Is it purely physical, or are you feeling lonely? What thoughts go through your head when you feel this urge? These (and other) questions should help you to understand the source of your urges.
Anastasias continuative questions need certainly to be answered, should they apply to you. My -somewhat- simplistic previous posting only defined masturbation as a natural experimentation with ones body. And nothing 'abnormal' in that whatsoever.
Finding yourself outside of your 'private space' ,expressing your sexuality may bring you in conflict with others and society will not tolerate that.
yes, and i have been embarrassed in the public because of the same. It totally annulled my social life.Now I find it difficult to even get out of the house because I fear what people would say, think or whether they would laugh at me. That's why I think it has to end.
Not really but since I never go out or do anything social, I overindulge in such things. But I don't feel right about this since it started at a very early age; I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the fact that I was sexually abused at the age of 6. Recently, it has started affecting my sleep schedule as well. I often wake u[p in the middle of the night and find myself surfing porn. I just cant sleep without masturbating it seems.
It probably has something to do with me being lonely. I have always been a loner and I never had any friend in true sense. The one's who claimed to be friends basically used me and then they dumped me after that.
sounds an aweful lot like me
I used to wake up in the middle night to watch porn on TV.
Excessive masturbation cannot possibly be more damaging than the consistant attempts at making a woman happy, only to have her deceive you and leave you, plus, sex isn't that great, unless both of you are truly in love with each other, but how likely is that to be true. What if the woman you had sex with was cheating on you with another guy, possibly more? What if she was in the process of making up some elaborate story to claim as the reason why she is leaving you? To me, the action of attempting to please a woman, is insane. If a woman truly loves you, then you don't have to do much, other than to be yourself. If she doesn't show she cares about you the way that you are, then she isn't worth it. Remember, masturbation doesn't cheat on you.
What a load of old rubbish, every man in the world does it, its not abnormal, its not a dirty habbit, its just something guys do, in fact there is medical evidence that it is good for you to empty the tubes out a couple of times a week or more, as for being caught red handed as it were, this too happens to loads of young men at some point in time, by parents, friends, family, again its not uncommon, embarrising but nothing to worry about !
Its perfectly normal for younger guys to do it once or twice a day, or even more, as you get older or married, you tend to do it a little less often, but even at my age (40) I still have a go, every other day or so, some times more, some times less, but then I am single and unattached.
Don't worry about it, its not a problem unless its starting to take over your normal everyday life, you just have a high sex drive, thats all, no biggy
lol lol lol lol lol
But the OP has not been able to control himself and been caught in public too. when its hurting your social life so much it is a problem. I'll be forward, i've never masturbated..but sex is always on my mind. I agree its a normal, okay thing to do but that shouldn't take hold of your life.
It may have something to do with the molestation; have you talked with anyone?
Well, he DID say he gets up in the middle of the night to surf porn and that he does it in inappropriate places. If you could cut those two things out, I'd say you're in pretty good shape.
Also, being molested probably has a lot to do with it as well. Children who are forced to be sexual at an early age often experiment with it at a young age as well, often excessively and inappropriately.
You might consider a therapist, but if you want to handle it on your own, I would say limit the times (not the middle of the night) and places (only in your room or bathroom) and you should be ok, at least where this habit is concerned.
yeah but what if people keep giving you dirty smirks even after 3 years ? What if you were a social outcast to begin with and then people start using such incidents as a weapon against you ? I've been living in mental hell for the last 3-4 years. Most people think it's funny but those remarks methodically broke down my ego, pride and self-esteem. Now, I'm even frightened of leaving the house because I'm just too scared of people laughing at me.
No because the memories were very bleak and I never realized until now that it might be the root of my problems.
I don't know anything about love and I'm 21 years old.
I just lust after girls and fantasize about them. This is very unfortunate. I don't know what kind of relationship I will have with my wife if I ever marry.
When I look at other guys having a good time with their girlfriends, I think that they are either faking it to make others jealous or coaxing their girlfriends into having sex.
Well, you're 21 years old (according to your last post). I'd say it's perfectly natural at that age. I can tell you I was going probably 3-4 times a day at that age. It's just hormones. As others have said, every man does it. I don't care what he says. He masturbates.
Being caught is embarrassing. No doubt about it. Most of us have been caught doing it at one time or another.
As far as doing it in public places, that isn't appropriate. You have to think about and respect the rights of others. Would you really want to accidentally see some guy masturbating in a public place? It's not a mental image most of us would like to carry around.
I am sorry that the person or persons who caught you chose to spread it around and humiliate you. But think about it this way. If you were in a semi public place (a bathroom, I would guess), you must have known there was a chance you'd be caught. You have to think about consequences.
If it truly is controlling your life, I guess it could be a problem. Personally, I've never considered my sex life (such as it is) to be an obstacle. I never thought of masturbation as being dirty or harmful. But it is a private thing that you should keep private.
As you get older, you'll slow down. Almost every man does. At 34, I hardly ever bother anymore. Anything can be habitual. If you find yoruself doing it and you don't even know why, that's probably a problem. But it isn't a shameful one. It's no more shameful than habitually counting the tiles on the floor. If you do feel you should see a therapist, I wouldn't worry about feeling ashamed or "dirty". Doctors are pretty enlightened folks. They've seen and heard everything more than once. Fortunately, they have to be pretty well educated so it's not like you're walking up to some guy on the street and talking to him about your issues.
yeah i know i was wrong but it just seems my whole future is doomed because of 1 silly action. Why do I deserve this ? I've rarely harmed any one in my life. I'm extremely sensitive; If I find out that some one has died, it bothers me for at least 2 days. I knew one guy at my college who lost both of his parents in the same year and I went into severe depression. Not only was I feeling sad for him, but I was afraid for my parents as well. I was talking to myself, shaking my head constantly and people used to think that I had gone berserk! I can say I'm a good student. I'm not bragging but should I suffer for the rest of my life for being stupid once ? Even those convicted of felony are able to get rid of the shackles some day. Getting out of the house even for 5-6 minutes is a nightmare. Wherever I go, people seem to recognize me, and they stare like idiots and laugh at me. I've PHYSICAL symptoms of fear (shaking, sweating, pounding heart) and it feels awful. I always worry and become terrified thinking that they would gang up on me and ask me questions about what happened. I often walk fast and stare at the floor or road at some distant point, trying to get to a place of relative safety as fast as possible. Most people can probably not imagine what it is like to be completely isolated, and in such a negative environment. It is making me crazy. I only talk to my parents and sister, that's all. I have already asked my parents to tell some lie if any of the people who knew me call. I'm planning to do my masters in computer science in USA next year but I just found that many of these people are studying/working in US. They are too many and I'm afraid that once I get there, the rumor mongering will again start and more people will join in. I will become a social outcast once more and then god knows which country I will migrate to. I hope that some day life will give me a break. All I want is to sustain myself somehow so that I don't live off my parents and encumber them with debts. It is a very bad feeling and makes me sick. I really love my parents and I feel that I've let them down by becoming pervert and socially awkward.
OK. I just went back and read your first post. I didn't realize it when I read it the first time but you didn't say exactly what happened.
It might be easier for us to give you advice if you can try and explain what happened that caused this public humiliation. Are you sure a lot of people know and are laughing at you or are you thinking that they are? There are psychological disorders which can make you think people are laughing at you when they actually aren't.
You don't have to go into a lot of detail. Just kind of explain what the situation was and what happened. I totally understand if you don'[t want to talk about it though. It's just that it's hard to know what to say unless we know more than what you said.
Well the reason for public humiliation is the same thing. Masturbating in public [in a very unlikely place, no not bathroom] and then getting caught in a very awkward and embarrassing position, doing a very strange thing. It is ridiculous for others and stupid of me to do it, but it's very painful now. I myself don't understand why I did something like this. My sex drive is so high sometimes it starts controlling me. I have had some serious mental issues to deal with and this is making it worse. I did it for the first time thinking that nobody was actually seeing me. As I said, I was already a social outcast to begin with, so that really made things much worse than they could have actually been. People thought that it was a great opportunity to use me as a punching bag. I know that they are laughing at me; pointing fingers and giving me weird looks. I also think they do it on purpose, hoping that I feel uncomfortable or ashamed of what I've done. They look at me as if I should remain some kind of slave and keep to myself for my whole life, their looks clearly say it. I feel like it is a filth I cannot wash away.