Excited

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by MoAnamCara, May 14, 2013.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Rough kind of time dealing with some stuff in recent days. I've thought about SH, perhaps I should say fantasized about SH. I couldn't do what I normally would and so I tried to do other things to help. They didn't. And when I say thought about, I mean a lot, o er and over. I know for me it's a way to deal and cope with stuff. I know it's not a good thing but it's not terribly bad either as I've entertained thoughts of substances etc. to try and cope too. Anyhow, now I'm at this place that, shortly, I will be able to cut. And I'm excited about it. I mean it's like it's own drug. It's a longing, perhaps, to feel in control again. I don't even think I want to try not to, today. Gosh, what a merry little mess I am.
     
  2. Brokenness

    Brokenness Well-Known Member

    I'm struggling with wanting to self harm today too. Well more like gave in to it, even though it's been a couple weeks since last time. I'm stressed out today, my doctor is a jerk and makes me more anxious, and my insurance won't cover more Ativan till next week. I have no way to calm down except to cut. And even that isn't helping a lot right now. :/
    I'm desperate to get some sleep, been awake about 32 hrs straight, I'm really tired but can't settle down to sleep. It drives me nuts, I wish I was unconcious somehow, sleep or whatever, cause I can't handle this stress!
     
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