Excuse me if I piss you off!!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by itmahanh, Jan 8, 2010.

  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    But I'm pissed off and I cant sit here and be Mrs. Goody about it anymore!!! I'm too old to sit around let little children throw their hissy fits and do nothing anymore. I'm too far gone to give a shit about what anyone out there will think about me for posting this. So if I piss you off.... too bad!!! I'm letting it out BOYS and GIRLS!! Find a comfy chair cuz it's gonna be a long read!!!

    This stems from a thread in the suicide forum. It has been closed by admin. I regret that I am bringing it up because it has been closed for good reasons. But it really pisses me off the mentality of some people.

    "Suicide Forum - A support forum for people in crisis". I think it says it pretty clearly in the title of the site. This is a support forum for people that are suffering from suicidal thoughts and urges. If that doesnt spell it out clearly enough then read the tutorials and the rules and guidelines. "This is a pro-life forum" bastardizes that contained information. The very rules and guidelines that you are suppose to read before you join. So if you havent, go and read them now!!!!!

    Every single member here is here about the support. Either in giving or taking it. There's that word again....... SUPPORT!!!!! For those that are suicidal, it is crucial. It could mean the difference of life or death. Some here are stuck with the thoughts and urges. No amount of words or support are going to change their minds. But being here gives those people a place to belong. To not have to face the loneliness of their battle. Some come here and find the support and are able to move on. Others come here only to offer whatever support they can. But everyone here is here of their own free will.

    "No, it's a prosuffer/ignore realities of life site." The reality of this site is that members are suffering. That their battles daily with suicidal thoughts and urges or mental health issues is their reality!!! Not one single person here is going to dispute that. What realities are you talking about? The reality is that people can come here, feel like they have found a place to voice their pain. Talk about their suicidal thoughts and urges. In the real world, you cant utter those words without someone looking down on you or trying to make you think or feel differently.

    "they act as if they have any inkling as to how the person is feeling or what is going on in their life" Almost every member here can truly relate on some level to the pain other members are suffering through. No one can completely understand another persons problems or pain. But most can certainly relate to it. Understand it for the battle it is. A persons pain is as individual as the member. But all pain holds a common factor. The mental and emotionally Hell it puts people through. So people here arent pretending to understand. They DO understand. And I think it is so unselfish of those same people to be trying and help a fellow member when they themselves are suffering so badly. Any suggestions that are offered are done so guenuinely. In hopes that something that may of worked for one may help another. No one here is trying to undermine anyone elses problems or pain.

    So to all of those members that disagree with this site mission, leave. It's that simple. No one forced you to sign up and no one is forcing you to stay at a site that obviously isnt what you're looking for. But dont have the nerve to sit there and put all the hard efforts of the staff and the members that care about each other to waste. Put it down because it isnt what you believe. You want a pro-suicide site, then by all means go find one. This is not it!!!

    If you're still here then there is something about this site you feel you need. It serves some purpose for you while you're struggling. Then stay but dont keep putting the site and members down. There are many members here that are pro-suicide. In actuality ever member that comes here feeling suicidal is pro-suicide atleast at that point in their life. There are members here that dont completely agree with the site mission but have the class and good taste not to voice their opinions in the Suicide Forum but rather in other places where it will be more efficient (ie Letters to Management, Soap Box etc.). And there are members that feel everyone should have the right to end their own life when they deem it appropriate. But they have the tack to voice their own opinion as just that and dont use it to enourage others. So you see, there are all kinds of beliefs and thoughts by all the members here. But this isnt a sounding board for pro-life or pro-suicide. This is a support site.

    You want to debate the good vs bad of suicidal thoughts, or how others view it, then start a damn thread in Soap Box. But DONT try and convince those that need this site that it isnt what it was started as... a place for those that are suicidal and trying to find that one last chance for support and help. If you're looking for someone to say "hey way to go, you're suicidal. Wow I encourage you 100%. Please let me help you by giving you a few good methods I've tried or heard about," then oops!! you're in the wrong place!!!

    In my personal opinion (and incase I need to clarify that - my own thoughts and having nothing to do with those of other members, staff or the SF site itself), those that stay and continually put this site down are nothing more than attention seekers or trolls!!! Yeah that's right. Cuz if those people were truly suicidal they would understand the need for a pro-life site such as this. And they would be using it for the support and understanding it offers. Not throwing shit like the stated thread out there for everyone to read.

    God some people really piss me off. The same people that would be bitching at a pro-suicide site that everyone there is just trying to kill them off!!!!!!!!!
  2. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Well said. :clap:

    I make no secret of being staunchly pro-choice when it comes to suicide, but there's a HUGE difference between that and encouraging someone to kill him or herself, especially in the context of a pro-life support forum.

    As an analogy, I also think that people should have the right to get so drunk that they vomit and pass out, as long as they don't endanger others. But that doesn't mean I think it's a particularly good idea, and more to the point, I wouldn't go to a forum for people who are trying to quit drinking and start a thread called "What's so bad about alcohol?" And even if for some reason I did, I'd put it in that forum's equivalent of the Soap Box, NOT the main area where people are trying to give and receive support.

    I looked at the closed thread in question, and it really gave me pause, because the OP's line of reasoning was very similar to something I wrote in the Soap Box yesterday. Although I guess I agree with that poster in principle, he really went about expressing it the wrong way. (EDIT: I want to clarify that I only agree with his view on suicide. I disagree with his characterization of SF as being "pro-suffering".)

    Bottom line: know the rules and stay safe. Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself of that, actually.

    (P.S.: Thanks for the PM, Carla. :smile:)
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 8, 2010
  3. DreamReaver

    DreamReaver Well-Known Member

    Completely agree, couldn't have said it better. :clap:
  4. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    :hug: well said :)
  5. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    Bravo! I hope evreybody reads this.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    God you made me laugh at your heading good for you for getting pissed off and telling it how it is here Everyone works so hard here and cares so much thanks for putting it out there in words so everyone understands. take care.
  7. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Thanks Carla...well said! :hug:
  8. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    You'd think this would be common sense to people but obviously not.
  9. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I read what you had to say Carla and I read the thread in question and all I have to say is thank you for speaking out.

    When I read some of the comments I was indignant. To bitch about this place is downright rude to say nothing of childish! If you don't like it here then f$&king leave like an adult.

    I don't agree with some of the rules either but I respect them and understand why they are in place. To stay around a place you don't care for suggests, to me, you have too much time on your hands. To then carry it further and complain about the place indicates, to me, a lack of class, immaturity and plain old fashioned meanness.

    I personally think a few of the posters need to apologize to the site as a whole before they are allowed to remain members and I sincerely hope they received infractions for their comments because they were clearly wanting to insult the members here-hell they insulted me.

    This place is amazing for the reasons posters above have stated so I won't restate them but suffice to say I feel the same.

    Thanks sparkle for not letting that thread get out of hand and for keeping this place safe for all of us-great job!

  10. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    :clap: Thanks Carla, I am so glad you voiced something that often runs through my head; though I think most of us got here by hazzard :rolleyes:
    most probably looking for methods or ways to die( like me), the ones who stay should be aware of how it works around here, and respect, respect the members, respect the staff, respect the rules, I mean, it's a great place to be, and we would like to keep it like this. It's people like you that make it worth to be part of this site :)
    Take care,
  11. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    So this thread is going to become my personal rant site. I dont know if it's the fever from being ill or just insanity, but damn it I'm sick and tired of seeing memebrs being abused and hurt and rules blatantly being disregarded. This is a site where people come to find support and friendship. Can share a common bond with others that undrstand the pains and demons of life. And to be able to talk about their "taboo" feelings of suicide and the depression and issues that have brought them here.

    I cant imagine being a mod or admin here. Daily seeing and hearing things that make your blood boil but having to have the strength to hold your personal opinions about those things inside. Well I'm not either of those people. I do have a voice and opinions. And I'm going to put them out here. Maybe to show other members that feel the same way that it is OKAY to voice what is bothering you. Its OKAY to take a stand.
    If anyone here doesnt like my personal little rants, then dont read them. Turn the page sort to speak, and move on.

    This isnt going to be a place to openly discuss issues that should and will be directed to letters to management. But rather a place to let other members know that someone does care and notices the little hurts and sins that are being endured because of the disrespectful nature of others.

    So that being said......
  12. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Based on the replies to this thread, everyone seems to be pretty much on board with your ranting so far. I say have at it. :)
  13. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    There's probably a few of you reading this post right now. Yeah you know you're the ones. The POSERS. The ones that come here only seeking attention for some sick need that you have. The ones that come here and befriend members that truly only want to help others.

    You arent plagued with all that suicide instills in a person. You dont feel the need to hide away because your thoughts and feelings cause you despair in knowing that others will judge you for even thinking such a thing. You dont need to be here out of the urgency that the thoughts and urges press into you. You dont need to be here to try and reach out and find help when you feel like you are at the end of your very short rope.

    You are here to abuse the good intentions of others. To find what you consider to be prey and weak at that. You come here because you are a coward and too afraid to try and do the things you do here, in your real life and world. Because you know all your lies and deceit would be found out immediately. You are..... a poser.

    What do you get out of it? What kind of deranged pleasure can you get out of using someone that is already so down and out. Use them to make them feel like they matter to someone, when they already feel like no one cares. Use them to "help" you through your ordeal, when there is none to be dealt with. To take away what little worthiness a person can feel by guenuinely helping another desperate soul, when you need no help at all (ok sorry, you do need help, but there are no practicing pdocs here that I know of, so move on).

    You get what you came looking for. Attention, some sort of personal satisfaction reaped from the discomfort and dispair of another person. Maybe even your ego stroked a little or some sort of pleasure be it emotional or sexual.

    Too many sincere generous people that have enough of their own REAL problems to deal with are being hurt by the posers that so often find their way to SF. And in doing that they hurt other members that could of or were being helped by the people that were abused by the posers. But you see, you also eventually get found out, caught and banned. So why waste your time here?

    But the damage has already been done for some. They now feel worthless, confused, hurt, damaged and defeated. So to all the members that have fallen for these please read the next words very carefully....

    You did not knowingly decide to try and help someone that did not need your considerate words of advice or support. You were abused. Yes abused by someone that has a life mission to do just that to kindhearted individuals. I know, my life history is scattered with those abusers. Your worth can not be drawn up in a figure or a chart. Your kindness can never be repaid in mere words of thanks. Your generousity of your very self can not ever be repaid either. You are a truly remarkable person. You give of yourself regardless of your pain and trials. You want to help others with the knowledge you have gained through your own personal Hell be it your past or present. You are the very type of person that this world needs more of.

    So a warning to all you posers on site. I'm tired of seeing members and my friends hurt by your sickening antics. You will eventually be found out by administration and the moderators. And for your sake I do hope it is by them and not me. Because this has become not only personal but so damn tiring. Enough.... get out and off this site of your own doing because no one has any purpose for you around here. Here's an idea. Go start your own site... Posers Anonymous. Now how's this for a thread..... Hi my names John and I'm a poser. Anyone here want to be hurt, abused and just generally taken advantage of? And for your annual meet you can all get together and take a flying leap straight to Hell!!!
  14. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I completely agree, however I haven't spotted any posers on here yet so it's scary, I don't know who is!
  15. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    And I hope you never find one either. It really hurts to give so much effort, concern and support to be used like that. All I can say is if you think or feel something isnt quite right, then follow your gut on it and not your heart. And anything suspicious report it to admin through letter to management. If you're wrong no harm will come of it. But if you are right then you save yourself and other members a whole lot of worry and hurt.

    The number of members here that are guenuine and need support or want to give support is so so so much greater than those that use this site for personal gain. And the ones that are abusing the site will get caught. So dont worry.

    I dont want to cause any doubt for members here. I basically want the posers to know that they arent going to last long here so get while the going is go.
  16. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    All I can say is I had a few doubts, dismissed them as being petty and irrelevant to the matter at hand....funny I did email him a kind letter asking for explanation of the "inconsistencies" I found and BAM he was was a no show right after that.

    So my advice to those is go with your instincts and those that are genuine, and there are many here!, will be happy to explain anything amiss as they truly want help and truly appreciate the support being offered to then.
  17. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, the nature of a site with a name like "Suicide Forum" is that it's going to attract some unsavory characters. We're lucky to have as dedicated a mod/admin staff as we do, but they can't be 100% vigilant all the time. It's up to us, the users, to keep an eye on such things and make it known that trolls are not welcome here. This is true of any forum, but is especially important at SF due to the generally vulnerable nature of its userbase.
  18. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    People think they know me. No one knows me. People here understand to a degree. They understand the pain, the confusion, the urges and thoughts. But even here no one knows me.

    I'm a helpful, caring supportive person. Sure. But that isnt the me that walks this damn existance day after day. I'm plagued with horrible memories, physical and emotional pain and urges that wont stop no matter how hard I try to make them or atleast to keep them in control.

    I'm filled with guilt for all the things I let happen to me when I foolishly believed people could love me. For not being able to be the Mom my kids need. And for being a hypocrite here on this very site. Asking,telling, and begging others to hold on. Read the words I offer and use them. The same words I cant hear or use myself.

    Well to those that want to know the truth I'm nothing but a coward and I'm not the strong person that you read in those words. I'm nothing but a tired out, scared and pathetic soul. Just like so many others here. The real me? I am suicide. I breath it, feel and embrace it everyday. EVERYDAY. I came here like the majority of others. Looking for something anything to stop the pain. But like everything else I've tried it only works for a while.

    Those of you that complain about this site. It's rules, the mods and admin, other members and put down all those that carry this demon around ..... screw you. Suicide to us is as real as your belief that you are God's gift to the world. Get over yourselves. I'm not strong. I'm not courageous. But atleast I have always had the guts to say it as it is or has been. And the compassion to know not to kick another person when they are down.
  19. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Thank you for this post this morning. This helps me a lot. I've been feeling the fallout emotions of things that have happened in my past. It seems as is my sister's illness is triggering it.

    This scares me. I'm feeling the painful emotions and fear of her dying and yet a lot of past pain is surfacing.

    I don't do strong anymore. When I try to do strong, people cannot see that I need them, then I start to think that people don't care.

    I'm grateful that this site is here to come to, to the people who know and understand. I think God lead me here to get a lot of what I need from other people.

  20. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Carla we understand okay the guilt the constant battle the thoughts of suicide but please hold on please I know i am being selfish i know that but please don't do this please i think of your children who you do help you do support and they do appreciate you if they didn't they would not go to you so much. Who will they reach out to when your gone WHO will care give a dam no one not like you care please Carla i am in the same boat fighting everyday for a reason you just have to stop the thoughts and just go on okay please