Exhausted and Sickened

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Freya, Jan 8, 2014.

  1. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    By causing other people pain and anxiety. Guilt ridden and disgusted. All I have is 'I'm sorry' and it isn't enough.
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    are they saying it is not enough or do you feel that or both? :(
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    They are being more gracious and reasonable than I have any possible reason to dream. Doesn't excuse the pain I caused.
  4. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    here's the question to ask yourself:

    if they had done the same things to you that you did to them, would you forgive them?
    if yes.... why not forgive yourself? if no.... why wouldn't you? how would you suggest they change/improve? can you apply that to yourself as well?

    in the end, its always most important that we are able to live with ourselves... our faults, our decisions, our weaknesses, and our strengths.... and that we find a way to forgive ourselves and constantly improve upon ourselves.... when we stop being able to do these things, thats when the weight of the world is now too much, because we can't even bear our own weight...

    so try answering that question, and any sub questions that may be pertinent to you in this case, see if it helps...
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Freya we all need to reach out when we are in pain hun and no one judges you for that ok Please know it is ok to reach out here and is it just you that think you caused pain or did the people your reached out to say so. Please know you deserve as much care and support a nd compassion as anyone ok hugs
  6. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Dawn - yes I would forgive the person. And in truth the person is question told me today that as far as they are concerned I apologised and that is enough - to stop beating myself up about it - said sorry for bothering me with questions (which makes me feel worse as undoubtedly they are owed as many answers as they need). It is far more than I deserve.

    Your question about what I would suggest they change if the positions were reversed. I do not know. Without saying anything unhelpfully negative about myself. I will think about it.

    Eclipse - thank you - it is not that I "think" I caused pain, it is that I did. However, that is something I need to live with and learn from. I can try to do that at least.
  7. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    Don't accept blame for pain that was not caused by you - especially if that blame is emanating from within yourself. If you are sorry, and have been forgiven, then that is enough, but you cannot make up for all the ill in the world - it may be that they are still in pain, but you can only take responsibility for yourself and your own actions. Other things, they take time and other things to heal. Part of being forgiven is being able to recognise and accept that, and being able to forgive yourself.
  8. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    freya... if you would forgive the person, then there is no reason to answer what you would suggest they change...

    at this point, what you need to do, is think of yourself as "a person that wronged you", and forgive that person (yourself), and move on from there...