Well well well. It's 2:35 in the morning here and I dare not try to fall asleep. It's befor I go to bed that I'm the worst. I'm a 20 year old male attending university. Last spring I attempted suicide and had to leave school that sememster. I'm back now, but I can feel the ground beneath me giving way. The counseling and the drugs aren't really doing anything, and I am fantisizing about suicide again. I know I'm not all the way to the edge yet, but I can't slow down. It feels imminent. All time has come to a crawl and things feel out of control. I feel, and I'm sure all of you can relate, a complete sense of isolation, even though I have two loving parents (whom I could never confide in), good friends (although I wouldn't dare burden them with all of this), and a physcologist (for some reason or another, it's not doing a thing). I feel like an ungrateful little brat. I don't know why anyone hangs out with me. I'm quite sure I'll feel this way forever, no matter how I assuade myslef otherwise. I'm thinking of buying a razor blade. I have never cut myself, but I must say, I am curious.:smile: I wonder if it will stave off the suicide. I do feel it comming. P.S. I really is comforting to find a community like this. This definatly combats the alienation.