Thats what I do now , I exist . I wake up everyday and the nightmare starts all over again , I exist for another day . The only time I have any peace of mind is when I sleep . I want to sleep forever , but instead , I exist . This , existance , is not a life , it's a living hell . But I exist , I exist for my children and I exist in hope that one day she will come home . And so for now , I continue to exist .