25 year old male. was broken up with by my girlfriend of 7 years back in july because i was generally an asshole and picked arguments about stupid stuff that doesn't even remotely matter to me anymore. a week later, after desperately trying to contact her and being ignored, i jumped off a bridge in a serious attempt at suicide. broke my spine pretty bad and was in the hospital for a couple months. got out and made a go at life, met a new girl online who i dated for about 6 weeks before again being dumped. took the second one surprisingly well, and moved out of my mom's house and into my own place at the beginning of november. since then, i've pretty much fallen apart. every second of every day is spent in painful regret thinking of how easy it would have been to preserve that relationship with the love of my life and best girl i could ever hope to meet if i wasn't a complete idiot. it's absolute torture. i know logically i just need to move on and forget about it but i can't seem to forgive myself. all i can think of is how happy i was and how great my life was a year ago and how horrible and hopeless it is now. i feel like i have no life. i have a few friends, but none of them are really close at all because my life was devoted to my ex-girlfriend. we lived an hour away from where i work and all my friends are. i have a supportive brother and mother, which makes me feel even worse because i express my despair to them and it's killing them too. i feel responsible for tearing my family apart and ruining their lives. anyway, i figured posting here was better than posting on a pro-suicide forum (which i originally went looking for and couldn't find any of -- good job google). basically the only thing i've been thinking about for the last several days other than my ex-girlfriend are what ways i could try to kill myself that would actually work and wouldn't be terribly painful. i'm not sure whether i plan to kill myself or not, but i definitely don't plan to try at it and fail again. making things worse again tonight are that i tried texting her yesterday, telling her how bad of a place i was in and basically begging for her friendship and help, and she blocked my phone number. the fact that the person who once loved me so much now doesn't care enough to offer me friendship that may save my life just kills me. the pain is unexplainable. not sure what i'm looking for here, but there it is.