Explain why JERKS exist (mostly in males)?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by yous, Aug 23, 2010.

  1. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    If possible I would greatly like a male's point of view on these questions I have.

    I'm sure you males have come to a point to meeting a male Jerk in your life. We women all have met a lot of them. My friend included has just met one recently.

    I just want to know how a guy becomes a jerk exactly?

    Is it the hardship in life that he's had where bullies have put him down?

    Is it the positives in life that were greater than the negatives that made him think himself this way?

    I looked up 'why women fall for jerks' on the internet, and this one guy fit the bill. Every single topic about a jerk was covered with this guy, from name calling to self-absorbed confidence to introducing sex early on and denying rejection.

    I mean this guy couldn't or didn't see why he was wrong in approaching friends or women. He had no humble or compassion and never apologized for anything, never showed fear of losing anything and only went about getting his way.

    Can these people be changed???? I know it takes some miracle sacrifice on their part to even want to change, but do you know anyone who was a Jerk and then came down to earth and became HUMAN???

    Why do they exist? It may be a defining reason why relationships don't last.
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well, it works for getting women easily.
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    The woman'd probly be brain dead if she were to stay with one though :tongue:.
  4. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    So fawkes, you are saying the guy is JERK because it works for him to get women, not because of some psychological reason that made him this way?

    Interesting....interesting... Then that motive is more evil.
  5. bdawk

    bdawk Well-Known Member

    I grew up with couple of guys who did for that exact same reason, and seeing that it worked for them..They had no reason to change.
  6. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    And so did the women stick with these guys? Because if the women had an effect on them, then they would change I would think. But I'm guessing the lesson here is not learned? Are they still the same now?
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sounds exactly like my ex partner and I was brain dead for 16 years with him....
    i kept thinking he'd change but he never did..but i loved him..
    He had the biggest ego just like his father....he was a womaniser..just like his father..
    His father is a manipulator and so is he...
    my ex could humiliate me in one sentence...
    Jerks do get the women but don't make them happy...
  8. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    They exist because women let them exist by being with them despite everything up to and including physical/sexual abuse... with the hope of changing them.

    It's not happening.
  9. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    Concluded from observation of old friends, i think the emotes help.

    They start loving themselves to much. :yeah:

    He was probably a bully. :wedgie:

    I would have said the oppersite. They just don't care, probably learnt from peers at a young age. :sheep2:

    Because girls love them. :blink:
  10. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Well what about other guys that met these guys that were Jerks? It can't be all women who met them. Surely one of you guys thought this guy could be a friend and he ended up bullying, belittling, or was conceited somehow to someone you knew. It can't be because women like Jerks and so guys tend to take on this personality trait. Otherwise, it would be like saying "there are no Gay Guys that are Jerks."
  11. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    It's easy for people to be jerks. We're all just animals, you know? There are plenty of people out there who only think with their crotch-- which means; not thinking at all, basically.
    Men/boys- do stupid things all the time. Why? Because it's in their nature to. Women/girls- do nasty things too. And why is this? Same reason.

    This really shouldn't be another one of those stereotype threads where people say: "Ohh, wahh... I'm a *nice* guy but I never get the girl! Assholes always do and it's not fair! Women love jerks!"
    Same thing could be said about alot of women, too!
    Loads of guys only go for the supermodel-esque bimbo who doesn't have 2 braincells to rub together, but she's easy so her being borderline retarded means nothing!

    people are jerks. That's it.
    Call it hormones, call it instinct-- call it a curse; but people will continue to treat other people like garbage until the end of time because that is just the way things are.
    Emotional connection tends to take a back seat in many MANY relationships. It's lust and sexual attraction that drives men and women to be with eachother-- and then the 'relationship' is so shallow that it dries up before an emotional connection can actually form.

    Take your time to get to know a person if you're worried.
    And by 'take time' - I mean more than a couple of in-person dates. It takes longer than a couple of hours face to face to really get to know how a person's mind works. Much longer.
  12. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Yes, I have made friends who turned out to be jerks, as a guy. I drop them like they're hot once I figure it out.
  13. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I don't know that many jerks but if I had to guess I would say it wasn't hardship that made them that way, just the opposite. Most of the guys I know you could call jerks grew up protected by something and have rarely, if ever, known humiliation. Most of the time the protection was good social standing but people that were just plain good-looking or related to someone popular got by just fine too. Pretty much the same reason I'd say bitchy girls exist.
  14. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Very Very interesting. This all helps me better understand the JERK that some people have. And it also helps me understand why this is actually a personality trait that is unlikely to change.

    What fascinates me is that these people know it. Granted it works for them, but they don't have life where anything really and I mean REALLY bad happened that forces them to make an effort to stop being a jerk.

    I mean I read many people's threads here in this entire forum. We have all experienced some sort of trauma, if you will, that made us become in such a negative state as we are, I like to think that a lot of us have the capacity to care and be humble - more than a lot of other people. Knowing that 9 out of 10 is full of negative in this great world of ours, its amazing how there are a few people out there that purposely cause it.

    Like predator vs prey.

    Well put KittyGirl, I concur with all that you said and thanks.
  15. bdawk

    bdawk Well-Known Member

    Honestly i have no idea, i haven't talked anyone in close to 5 years now and we all still live in the same city...Only thing i found out is 2 of them are married right now...Both of them cheated on every gf they ever had and never got caught...Is it different now???? i really couldn't give you an honest answer.
    As for you're first question broke it off with the girls first, but from what i remember the girls still wanted to be with them.
  16. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    I'm not that kind of jerk. I'm a jerk because I get depressed and lash out at people when sad.

    These classic jerks are trained this way by older male role models taught in the art of being a classic jerk. To these guys, all guys are supposed to be this way. This stereotype is taught to them as the main alpha male must. It really sucks. They can only see this one narrow path of self-indulgence, and while they will get many women in the long run. They will always feel empty when it comes to relationships because of their problem, and most of them will fail.
  17. TrentGrad

    TrentGrad Well-Known Member

    So then perhaps the thread should be "Explain why WOMEN prefer JERKS?"
  18. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    to much steroides = to much selfesteem = jerk
  19. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Supply and demand. Women ask for a man who has a perfect body, rich, powerful, and well guess what? People that have all of those things are so self absorbed that they could never possibly be capable of loving someone. They have options all the time, so they dispose of people like sandwich wrapings. Its human nature. Genitals do not define who you are. The whole men and women are so different is retarded. I see this time and time again and if someone can't see a guy for what a putz he really is, then they deserve what they get. Men like this see women with low self esteem as easy prey; a quick notch on the belt before moving on to the next lay. That is the honest truth. I think almost every man if he had the option to, would sleep with as many women as possible, again its in our DNA.

    There is also the guys that become frustrated with women and become bitter. They become the stereotypical man because they know it works to get girls. THe biggest reason why these men exist is because WOMEN allow it. Don't be so easily manipulated. HAve some pride in your self and don't let some guy treat you like a piece of meat.
  20. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    So gay guys are not jerks? If its just women who mainly fuel these guys becoming a jerk then all these gay guys are awesome to be friends with from what people are saying.

    There has to be more than just getting women that makes a jerk. I understand women can be jerks too, but are we confusing confidence and mind control to dismiss the negative rejection as being a jerk? Maybe these people have a switch inside them that loves themselves so much that is something we all should possess instead of be angry or jealous of I'm thinking. Maybe we should learn to be a jerk too. It's a mean competitive world. Something that suicidal, depressed people sometimes shrink away from. We are like opposites of jerks, but then similar because we both think inwardly. Just we think negative, they think positive.

    What do you think? Just try to see a different point of view. Course there is that aspect where people should not treat other people rotten.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 25, 2010