explaining why you self harm..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by emily83, Apr 7, 2013.

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  1. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    someone asked me yesterday- someone who's never understood mental illness etc, she asked me why i self harm... surely it feels really bad- so i had to explain to her why the best i could.

    so have you ever got the same question from anyone?

    and if so- how did you respond to it
  2. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    There are several reasons for me. For one, it releases endorphins, which make me feel better.

    Another, it causes pain, which distracts me from the inner pain I am feeling.

    Last, it is something "I control", at least in theory, and I usually do it when I feel I have no control over anything in my life.
  3. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    i sort of have a different experience with that, lol. barely a couple of people know why i 'really' do it [since for me it's a really personal and preeeeeetty difficult-to-explain reason]. mostly i've just said that i don't really know it myself [which my family bought exceptionally well], and i've also explained the physical stuff concerning it [aka as you've already mentioned, endorphin release]. think i've also mentioned feeling numb as a reason.
    i personally haven't really put much effort into explaining it to people, cuz in my case it won't change anything anyway, eeeeeven if they knew the real reason. i'm not going to stop it anyway and it isn't dangerous, and it's by far the best solution i have found for myself. though that doesn't mean i'm recommending self-harm, quite the opposite, lol. but truth be told, it can work, if nothing else does.
    oh and i think also the 'addiction' subject has come up somewhere, maybe with my mom, but i don't really remember since it was some years ago now. like the idea that once you start you can't stop anymore, so as if there's no actual 'reason' left, it's just an addiction. oh well
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Yes, I'm sure I've explained it to several people, and they will never get it unless they've done it themselves. I've been told I'm hurting people, that I've fucked up, I'm being stupid, that I can control it etc. when I was only doing it to cope with what I couldn't handle. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, and if they still don't get it, there's really no need to explain further. I think it's hard to understand from an outside perspective.
  5. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    Nah man. I have to disagree about the 'addiction' BS. For me, it was a choice I made - granted, not a very productive choice. Self harm is misunderstood by so many people, and I hated it when someone categorized me into a neat little box (which I personally found offensive) and labeled me as a behavior e.g. "She's a 'cutter'" - PAH!! :frusty:

    Oh, my frustration wasn't directed at anyone on this forum. :subdued:

    To answer the OP, I... couldn't grasp all the reasons why I chose to SH... This is something I kept mostly to myself because I didn't want anyone giving me crap about it.
  6. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    the addiction part was very much ironic btw >_<, i disagree with that idea too. it is addictive, yes, but it can't be 'without reason' so to say. i can't really explain it well, lol.
  7. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I self harm because I want to feel the pain, I get so angry and frustrated I have no other way of releasing those feelings.
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Just curious, and this is not meant to be insulting, but if the goal is to cause pain... why not exercise each day until every muscle cries out for mercy? Not only is that a cause for pain, but it is good for the body in the long haul and even has potential to encourage mental wellness.
  9. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    very good point, pick, i've actually thought about that for a while already, 's why i joined a karate class a couple weeks ago >_<.
    tho, just to point out, not every kind of pain feels the same in that sense. i for example tried holding ice cubes to my wrists and stuff like that, didn't work at all. and also, i myself am kind of specific about where on my body i cut. guess i won't go into much detail here but, some places feel like they work a lot better than others. tho that might partly be because fat tissue 'opens up' easier hahaha. well hope this explains it a bit
  10. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I've only ever done it a few times - the first time I did it was because I'd heard some people did that sort of thing so I figured there must be something about it that helps. The second time I did it for attention because I was so depressed and was just getting ignored all the time and I wanted help. Then I realised that physical pain actually made me forget whatever emotional pain I was going through and it forced me to focus on the here and now. I'd be thinking "omfg that hurts" instead of "I want to die."
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