Explosion

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by TBear, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    I feel like exploding - not in a necessarily bad way.... More in an overload way...

    OK so there is the bad - my therapist dumped me to a "more experienced clinician" so I am reeling - how can he after 4 year of close contact just ignore me and quit without even an ending processing .....

    I see him in the neighborhood and I feel awful - hurt - angry - sad....

    I have also been having some positive interest in dating.... tonight going to a "speed dating" get together HELP!!!

    Then - my first grandson :) so cute unreal joy to hold him - then I feel like how could someone like me (who flunks out of even therapy) deserve such a wonderful blessing...

    Then there is the pressure of economics - supporting 6 kids at home with various issues from the abuse we all suffered...

    Then it is the realization - the devastation - the reason I was referred away by my therapist - that I have DID and the many differing reactions/ flashbacks/ intrusions/ hurts/ that keep interfereing with me getting on with my life ...

    How could my father do that to such a small child - that child was me - the pain - the beatings the rapes, the death like existence...

    How could I have sufffered rape so often....

    How could I have stayed married to a monster for 24 years....

    I want to scream!!!!!!!!! I am hurting... I want to cry.... I want to laugh and forget it all... but I am stuck
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Then you go ahead and do all those things hun. I'm listening. And I have 3 teenagers so nothing you can say that would shock me (lol). Get it out. Dont tuck it in, because it always seems to have a way of coming back and biting you on the backside when you least expect or want it to :arms: