Don't know where my head has been all day. Was up and down then.... Nothin, just flat. I was confused so i think my mind kept trying to pull me up and down because its unfamiliar to not feel anything. Had suicidal/homicidal thoughts but no intention of doing it. Angry at myself for being so honest, my method was taken from the house. Shoulda lied. F**K. Went from lying to being too honest, must find a happy medium. And my dad straight up called me selfish for wanting to die. Thanks dad.