I screwed up. I fucked up royally. Through careless bookkeeping, and my love for foods that are really not in our budget, I blew $3000 over the past 3 months. My husband hates me. He'll stay with me, but he's feeling trapped and doesn't trust me anymore. Our interactions are a series of commentaries on how worthless I am. I'm not an equal and don't deserve to be. I hate who I am. I hate how irresponsible and careless I am. My only concern is my daughter. We've connected more lately, and are spending more time together (she is 6 years old, in kindergarten, and has autism). My parents are moving down here, into our apt complex actually, the week of Thanksgiving. They will take care of her. But they are more permissive, and give her foods that upset her stomach (she also has GERD and is on a low glycemic diet). But would it be worth it, [mod edit - removed threat], to have me out of my husband's life? I think so, but I look at her and don't know. Things just keep getting worse tonight, and it's so tempting to [mod edit - removed methods].